Halloween is just around the corner, and apparently it's not only on our minds…it's on the minds of our beloved pets.
My 4 month old silver pug puppy has been acting strange lately…quiet…Almost TOO quiet for a puppy….
Then I found him going through my internet search history which set off some major red flags for me. Snoop alert!
Turns out, he found out about dog Halloween costumes from his big pug brother, Beej. You just can't leave kids alone together sometimes, am I right?
Please SHARE my puppy's adorable plea to avoid wearing a costume with all of your friends.
Dearest Human:
You may have noticed that I've been behaving oddly the past few days. I've been pacing more, worrying more, and spending significantly less time customizing your shoes with my teeth.
For that, I apologize.
I know that you expect me to customize at least three shoes per week, and I have not been holding up my end of the bargain as your puppy. Forgive me.
The thing is, I've been talking to my older brother, Beejay. It appears that October is the month of some illogical human ritual you weirdos call Halloween. Apparently, on this "Halloween" day you like to force us doggies to wear ungodly human clothes-thingies. Well, human, I have some news for you:
Don't you even THINK about it.
I shall not don some silly costume merely for your amusement, human! I come equipped with a most luxurious fur coat and I do not require any further insulation. Anyway, do you think I want to end up like this…
A LAUGHING STOCK!?! (Why is there a very tiny clothes-less naked human perched atop?!)
You have to admit, human. I've been very accommodating in the past, to ALL of you whims. I've entertained your desire to make me wear shirts, for example.
Who is this "mommy" person, anyway?
It has also come to my attention that you've entertained the idea of coordinating your costume with mind.
What kind of sicko are you? You realize that I'm a dog and you're a person, right? You did not birth me!
The idea of enduring such humiliation gives me nightmares.
You don't want me to have nightmares, do you?
Furthermore, I have enlisted the help of Simon McLicker to deal with your conspiracy to put me in a costume.
Should you decide to dress me up on the last day of the month this will literally be the last thing you see before you fall. You shall literally be smothered in kisses. THE CHOICE IS YOURS, HUMAN.
Anypoo, look at me. I'm perfect the way I am.
You wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. Don't put a costume on your pug puppy.
Sincerely,
Smokey "The Knife" McCann
Please SHARE Smokey the pug's plea with all of your friends and just say no to Dog Costumes!
