When it comes to having a babysitter, parents have been schooled for decades on rules to set like when bedtime should be and banning friends from coming over, but there is a new danger parenting experts are increasingly wary of, and it's babysitters posting to social media while on the job.
For those thinking, "Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, what's the real harm?," just consider what happened to mom blogger Meredith Gordon, who firsthand discovered the risks. "It happened so quickly, I barely knew what happened," Gordon shared. "A new babysitter had arrived at the house, and my kids and I were showing her around… Seconds later, my daughter belted out a medley of the 'Frozen' greatest hits… our babysitter broke out her phone and started videotaping my daughter's impromptu performance. Before I realized she was even taping it, the babysitter had already pressed send and posted a video of my daughter to her own Facebook page."
"A Darwinian panic set in, and I felt immediately protective of my daughter," Gordon said. "My husband and I post photos of our children on Facebook and Instagram, but they are our children. The thought of a group of strangers liking or commenting on photos of my children made me uncomfortable and angry. I didn't want my kids' images to be fodder on someone else's social media… Truthfully, her videotaping my daughter and posting it without asking felt like a violation."
The social media issue is much more than just a privacy concern for parents. There are real safety concerns to consider, too. Take, for instance, the dangers that your family will be exposed to with social media posts that include location sharing, or the very real concern that your babysitter might inadvertently neglect your children by being too focused on their social media apps.
Wanting the ins and outs of what ground rules parents should be setting with babysitters of the social media generation, LittleThings spoke with parental control software maker Net Nanny's Executive Chairman Chris Rothey for his top tips to keep your family safe. While setting these rules might not have been necessary even five years ago, they are certainly necessary now.
1. First off, don't feel bad about setting rules around social media usage.
“It’s very common for parents to set ground rules [with babysitters] like no TV after 8 o’clock, and social media is really like the modern day ‘make sure to keep the door locked,'” Rothey said. “Parents shouldn’t feel awkward about setting down rules. It’s important to make it very clear that there are quite a few safety concerns around social media posting.”
2. Be very specific with what your rules are.
Rothey advises parents to be very specific about what is off-limits, especially with teenage babysitters who might not even think of apps like Snapchat as social media. “Be very explicit with your babysitter,” Rothey said. “They might not even perceive various apps as social media, but rather just a way they communicate. You have to help them make the connection that you don’t want photos and videos going out there.”
3. Don't want to set a blanket 'no'? Here's what to do.
Some parents might not want to say that all social media apps are off-limits, according to Rothey, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t put some rules in place. “Tell the babysitter it is OK to take a picture with your kids, just to share the photos with you first, and not to post them until they get home,” Rothey advises. “The more of a relationship that you have built up with a babysitter, the more you might be comfortable with giving them some leeway.”
4. Be particularly conscious of the dangers of location sharing.
"I hear it all of the time from teenagers, that they think the biggest problem with location sharing is it drains their phones faster," Rothey said. In other words, they might be totally unaware of the dangers posed by sharing their exact location publicly. Rothey cautions that location sharing carelessly could expose your family to everything from "creating an unofficial invitation for your babysitter's friends to stop over," to darker repercussions. "Pedophiles don't need to hide in the bushes anymore, there is social media for that." Bottom line, make sure to stress the importance to babysitters to turn off location sharing while they are babysitting your kids. "Stress to them that you don't want anyone to have access to where your kids are."
5. At the end of the day, you've got to trust your babysitter.
“Once you have set the rules, trust the relationship you have with your babysitter,” Rothey said. “Sure, you can ask if it is OK to join their social network so you can monitor them, but it is tough to do that without seeming nosy, and you might not get that babysitter to come back because of that.”
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