For decades now, parents have been struggling with the choice of being their child’s friend or disciplinarian.
Family physician and psychologist Dr. Leonard Sax feels that too many parents think it’s their job to be their child’s best friend, but in doing so, they're actually hurting them. His new book, The Collapse of Parenting, explains how we hurt kids when we treat them like grown-ups.
“Instead a parent should give them a grounding in confidence and help them understand who they are as humans,” said Sax. His book states that the most important relationship in a child’s life is the one with their parents.
Sax adds, “It has gone wrong with the transfer of authority and parents feeling insecure about their role.”
With this culture shift, the book talks about how kids today care about the opinion of other kids over that of their parents. That’s harmful and leading to an increase in anxiety. An American kid in the United States is 14 times more likely to be on medication for ADD compared to a kid in the United Kingdom according to studies by the Centers for Disease Control.
Motivated by being both a parent and a physician, Sax has seen helpless parents make major mistakes. For example, “Hearing kids saying, 'shut up' to their parents, and their parents doing their kids' homework while their kids are playing video games,” said Sax.
So how do we turn this alarming trend around?
Sax says: “I encourage parents to sit down with their children and say, 'Look, we’re going to be making some changes here. No phones in bedroom, no earbuds in the car, and no screaming at the dinner table.' Your kids may not approve, but you need to make these changes.”
When parents sit down and do this, Sax says he’s seen good things happen. However, both parents have to be in agreement. If they’re not, it’s still not going to work.
Do you agree with Dr. Sax's advice or know someone who could use some of his parenting advice? Then please SHARE his message with your friends and family!
