One of the hardest things for new moms to cope with is the inevitable pressure to return to work. In most households, both incomes are necessary to maintain a good standard of living. Separating from a newborn is never easy.
That's why Rebecca Tafaro Boyer from Memphis wanted her husband to give her hourly updates while she went back to work in 2018. Her story may have happened some time ago, but the message is still quite relevant today.
In one of his updates, Rebecca's husband shared a picture of their 3-month-old son in the car. Rebecca immediately took notice of how the child's seat belt straps looked.
While a lot of people don't think about seat belt placement, it's a big deal with babies. One wrong move can result a lot of damage in a collision. So Rebecca asked her husband to change it before they went on their mission.
"I demanded that my husband send me hourly updates and recaps on how baby William was handling his first day away from mommy," she wrote in a post that eventually went viral. "This afternoon around 2:15, I got a text from my hubby during their trip to Walgreens. My nagging wife reply was to correct William's position in the car seat – the straps were too loose and the chest clip was way too low."
Most moms know that pain. After giving birth, things change in our bodies. Suddenly, we become more anxious, and our mother bear instincts come out. "Because I know my husband, I’m sure that he laughed at me and rolled his eyes before tightening the car seat and fixing the chest clip," she wrote. But still, he made sure to listen.
After that, Rebecca got the phone call that every mom fears — her husband and son had been in a car accident. "At 2:30 my phone rang, my husband’s panicked voice came through the line, 'Honey, we had a car wreck. We are fine, but the car is going to be totaled.' The boys were less than three miles from our house when a woman pulled into oncoming traffic to try and make a quick left turn," she wrote. "David just didn't have enough time to stop. It could have happened to anyone. He slammed on the brakes at nearly 50 miles an hour before colliding with the front passenger side door of her SUV."
While everyone was safe, it was hard for Rebecca to envision what might have happened had she not mentioned those straps. Her son was safe and secure the entire time and wasn't injured in the accident. "My precious little bundle of joy was so well restrained in his car seat, THAT HE DIDN'T EVEN WAKE UP," she proclaimed. "Even with the impact of the two cars, William only received a minor jolt — so insignificant that he was able to continue on with his nap, and then spend the next two hours flirting with nurses in the Le Bonheur ED."
Her husband did suffer from some minor injuries, but it could have been much worse. "I am so thankful that my husband took the extra one minute that was necessary to put William in his car seat safely," Rebecca continued. "I can't even begin to imagine how different the outcome could have been. I truly believe that the reason my family is at home sitting on the couch with a pair of crutches instead of down at the hospital is because of my annoying nagging mom voice."
One of the reasons why this story may be circulating again is because it's a good reminder to stay safe. It's important to keep up with safety precautions and procedures when you have kids. It's also important for moms to remember to use their voice — in this case, it could have been a matter of life or death.
Rebecca also included a bunch of safety tips in the post for other parents. One thing some parents don't know is that much like a helmet, car seats need to be destroyed after they've been in an accident. Even if it's barely touched and appears to be in decent shape, it needs to be properly disposed of.
"Any car seat that has been involved in a moderate to severe motor vehicle incident where the car cannot be driven away from the scene of the crash immediately becomes defective," she explained. "When my husband and I realized it would have to be replaced he turned to me and said, 'We are getting the same [expletive] car seat because that thing did his job.' I am more than happy to shell out another $200 to Britax for protecting my baby."
Rebecca obviously did a lot of research both before and after this happened, and she used her brief platform to send her message out. "Those cute little car seat strap cushions that seem so necessary to protect your baby's sensitive skin from being rubbed by the strap? DEADLY! Any aftermarket item added to your seat can compromise the safety of your child," she advised.
She also gave great advice about car seat recycling. "If you have to discard your car seat after a crash, it can be recycled. BUT – before you stick that thing out on the curb with your bottles and cans, make sure to go HAM on it with a knife and pair of scissors!" she suggested. "Cut out the straps, remove the fabric, spray paint it with the word defective, and then drop an anvil on it for good measure."
The reason for this makes sense — it's so that nobody in desperation will pick up the car seat thinking it's a freebie. Since car seats can be expensive, a parent in need might assume the seat is OK to use. But by cutting the straps and marking it up, you're making it clear that it's not a safe option. Without this knowledge — and a bit of nagging — Rebecca would have had a different outcome after the accident. Next time you feel like you may be excessive with safety warnings, remember this tale.
