Today host Hoda Kotb has been open about her fertility struggles and the path that ultimately led her to adopting two children. She recently decided to share even more of her story, sharing in an interview with Good Housekeeping about what it was like to learn her own fertility had plummeted following treatment for breast cancer.
Hoda shared her cancer journey in 2007, when she underwent a mastectomy after being diagnosed.
Hoda explained that hearing from her doctor that she was extremely unlikely to have biological children was tough. "I remember that my oncologist called and we were talking about freezing my eggs," she told Good Housekeeping. "She basically said that given my age and [my breast cancer treatment], it was pretty close to a dead end."
The experience was beyond emotionally devastating. "I was in my room and I just sobbed," she said. "I thought, Well, that’s that, isn’t it? Like, you almost blame yourself. Why didn’t I do this? Why didn’t I do that? So I just pushed it away, because the reality seemed impossible to bear. How do you survive knowing you can’t have what you desire and what you feel like you actually physically need?"
She eventually opened herself up to adoption, but she credited that to being in a relationship. As Hoda put it, "I don’t think I would’ve adopted if it hadn’t been for [former fiancé] Joel. Having a stable relationship in that moment was really important. Once that fell into place, it didn’t seem as scary to me."
Despite the pain she experienced, Hoda still finds a lot to celebrate about when she did become a parent. She says that in particular, being an older parent has been advantageous. "All of a sudden all the things about having little kids that seem like a problem, you see in a whole different way," she explained. "And I find myself being so much more patient and calm than I ever would have been at a younger age. You realize we sometimes blow things out of proportion."
And like moms all over the world, now that she's a parent of two, Hoda definitely struggles with figuring out how to make sure everyone, including herself, is taken care of. She said, "Some days I hit a home run; some days it’s all terrible, and then you reset the next day and try again. There’s no quick fix for balance that I can give. I mean, look, you try to give 100% at home and 100% at work, and then that’s it. And then you see how it shakes down, but I think that’s the best way to do it."
In the end, Hoda shared that parenthood has taught her one majorly important lesson that most of us need: "Our kids sense every single thing we do, and they feel everything. They know if you’re being real and they know when you’re not. You have to really figure out who you are, because your kids are taking notes. Just be truthful and be true to yourself, and your kids are going to turn out just fine."
