Being single isn't easy. People feel entitled to your time and energy in a way that they don't from others. It can be really frustrating, especially when family is involved.
One single woman found herself in that kind of experience when she bought her first home. She took to Reddit for help after a joyous occasion led to a family-wide fight. The 32-year-old woman was excited about her three-bedroom home. It has a backyard and a lot of space for her two dogs to play.
Her family wasn't as excited for her. The original poster (OP) has a sister who is two years older than her with three kids. When she learned about OP's new home, she deemed it "wasteful." She said a single person didn't need that much space. She also lamented the lack of space she and her children have. Then the sister brought mom into the situation. Together, the two tried to convince OP to allow her sister to live in the home instead.
A single woman finds herself frustrated with her family after they shared their feelings about her purchasing her own home. She took to Reddit to get some perspective on the situation.
"I'm a 32-year-old woman and I just bought my first house. It has 3 bedrooms, a yard and is just what I need right now. I'm single and have 2 dogs," she explained.
She was excited to tell her sister about the happy occasion, but her sister didn't feel the same way. "My sister is 34, has 3 children and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment. Lately, she's been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them," she explained.
"When she got to know about the house I had bought, she became very upset and told me I was being 'wasteful' as I'm single and don't have kids and therefore don't need such a big space."
Her sister proceeded to continue to make her feel bad about the purchase, emphasizing how much more she and her family needed it.
"I reminded her that what I do with my hard-earned money is none of her business. She went on to complain to our mother about how 'selfish' I was being," OP revealed.
Things got heated when their mom decided to get involved.
"Yesterday evening, I got a call from my mom telling me I should let my sister and her kids move into the house. MY house," she revealed.
"I told her that no one was going to live in the house that I paid for but me, and that extra space would be great for my dogs to play in," OP continued.
"My mom also got very upset with me and told me I was being unreasonable. That my sister's kids are growing and need the space more than my dogs."
Now, OP wasn't entirely unsympathetic to what her sister was going through. She offered help.
"I offered to help my sister out financially so she could rent a bigger place. My mom got my sister on the phone who shot down the idea, telling me I needed to let her and her kids live in my house."
"When I refused again, she very generously suggested a 'compromise.' I could live in the house with her and her kids and would not have to find somewhere else to live. She said this as if she was doing me a favor," she shared.
“I told her she had lost her mind and hung up.”
OP wanted to know if she was wrong in thinking this was extreme entitlement. The internet fully understood and agreed.
"We are well past entitled and closing in on crazy!" one commenter wrote.
"She actually expected you to basically GIVE her and her kids YOUR HOUSE to live in as her own while you lived somewhere else? Don't let her move in, don't help her financially, don't even talk to her anymore."
Most people warned her to stick to her guns or it would just be more trouble in the long run. "DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN EVEN TEMPORARILY!" one commenter advised.
"I made the mistake of allowing my mom and little sister move in with me when I bought a large house and it was one of the worst mistakes of my life. The stress they will put on you and the total disregard they will have for your house will cause nothing but issues."
Many others shared their stories of being responsible for helping their whole family. They worried OP would fall into the same patterns.
"The longer you're helping her the more irresponsible and resentful she'll become of you and your success. In turn, she'll just want more," the commenter noted.
"As far as your mother goes I think now's a good time for mom to get a few facts straight about what responsibility you have towards your sister and for that matter, her. You help people because you want to not because of some entitlement they think they're owed by blood.
“It sucks to say but they’re always going to have their hands out to you both financially and emotionally if you don’t draw a line and make it clear what happens when its crossed. You’re not the family fixer just because you have your life together. Don’t ever feel bad for doing good for you.”
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