A surprise pregnancy can be tough for a couple to figure out, especially if they have older children who might be impacted by the birth of a new sibling. As one woman recently shared on Reddit, her relationship is in jeopardy after she found out she was pregnant.
The woman explains that the baby wasn't planned. She writes, "Me(30f) and my boyfriend(31m) of 3 years live together. We each have a child from a previous relationship. My son (11) lives with us full time. His son (8) lives with us every other weekend. They each have their own bedroom.
"I recently found out I’m 3 months pregnant. This was completely unplanned and a failed vasectomy."
She suggested their children share a room.
"The home we live in is technically mine," she continued. "It’s all our home of course but I paid for everything (down payment, washer dryer, couch, refrigerator, all furniture, etc)
"I would like to turn my stepson’s room into a nursery and have the stepson and my son share a room while he’s with us."
She also bought the house recently.
"I just got my home a year and a half ago and it’s only 3 bedrooms. We don’t have the funds to get a new home and I honestly wouldn’t want to. This is my first home and I’m super proud of it.
"I hate the idea of taking away stepson’s room but it sits unused 26 days a month and a new baby requires room for all the baby stuff."
Her boyfriend says he'll leave her if their kids share a room.
"He’s greatly upset that I would even suggest moving his son out of his room to share a bedroom with my son. He said if we combine the room for the boys then he’s leaving. Says he does not want to keep the baby anymore."
She also says their sons get along well.
"Since people are asking: the boys get along great, love each other, and have similar interests. We haven’t shared the news yet because we want to be a little further along before making them adjust to a new life. We don’t think they will be happy about a new baby in the picture."
Their attic isn't an option.
And unfortunately, three bedrooms is really the limit. As she put it, "We live in a state where there are no basements, only attics. It’s not possible for anyone to live in the attics because of the humidity/insulation/hot water heater/ etc. Not safe at all."
People think the real problem is the new baby.
As one commenter put it, the real issue might be that the boyfriend just doesn't want another baby. They wrote, "I just lean towards this is a NAH situation and it's not about his son's room at all, just becoming overwhelmed at a situation he never wanted and expected his partner to be on the same page on, and instead, she's decided to keep a kid he doesn't want."
People offered ideas for rearranging the bedroom as well.
Another commenter pointed out that moving the boys in together doesn't have to be a big deal at all. As they put it, "A set of bunkbeds, 2 sets of bunkbeds (if they fit) or those bunkbeds with desks under them are both useful and fun and create a 'my space' within the room for each kid. And maybe we were weird kids, but we fought over who got the top bunk and with the loft bed option, both kids get the top bunk."
Ultimately, both partners are in a situation they didn't plan on.
While it's fair to point out that the man had a vasectomy and wasn't planning on having more kids, it's just as fair to point out that his partner knew about the vasectomy and didn't think she'd be getting pregnant. As a commenter wrote, "He's not the only one who has to face the consequences of birth control failure. It's not like she went in his sleep and undid his vasectomy because she wanted a child. Why does he get to pout while she keeps her [head] on her shoulder and moves onto the pragmatic questions? If he doesn't want to raise the baby full time, then he separates, but blaming his leaving on whether his son has his own room is just pouring oil on the fire."
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