Recently found myself really wanting to adopt a puppy for the first time. I have two kids and one very old dog who probably doesn't have much time left. It felt like a good time to adopt and warm up to a new fur baby before the inevitable.
Honestly, I was also just spending so much time cruising the Petfinder app, I figured I might as well dedicate that time to actually training and caring for a new dog.
My son, who loves animals, was on board right away. And my daughter, well, she's not crazy about animals in general, but she said as long as she got to name him, she'd be OK. We went to a local shelter and brought home a sweet little dude whom my daughter promptly named Jughead, or Juggy for short. Well, after paying a sizeable adoption fee that I had to split between my debit and credit cards, we brought him home. Ouch.
Juggy is officially the cutest. He's also a bit of a train wreck. I mean, duh! Puppies are wild. But I have had toddlers, which is basically the same thing. I knew he might cost me my sanity for a while, but he will grow and learn.
The biggest shocker about adopting this wee pup is how much actual money this little dude is costing me. Because WHOA. Puppies don't keep, but puppies ain't cheap! People always talk about how expensive babies are. I mean, I guess? But not really. Babies don't really do much of anything, and you don't need most of what people tell you you need.
Puppies on the other hand … they're going to cost you no matter what.
Here's why puppies are way more expensive than babies:
1. You will definitely need new running shoes.
This adorable mutt has chewed through two pairs of running shoes in a very short time. And it's not like I'm just leaving them around anywhere. He basically hunts for them and finds them wherever I put them. And running shoes are expensive! Even a not-so-nice pair is like 50 bones. Hey … maybe I should just buy him 50 bones, but oh wait — they cost money, too.
Babies, as far as I know, do not eat your running shoes.
2. Holy vet bill!
OK, so the biggest expense with babies is taking them to the doctor. But while most people have some form of health insurance, most people do not have pet health insurance. Because if you think insuring people is expensive, insuring dogs is outrageous. It's really just for millionaires. In the early stages of having a pup, they have to go to the vet several times to get all of their shots. If there's anything wrong with them at all, like a case of worms (which my pup ended up having), that's going to be another hefty bill for the cure. Of course, it's money that needs to be spent because the health of your pup is super important. But whoa, puppy. It's a good thing you're cute.
3. Toys! Toys! Toys!
Not only is buying toys for puppies super fun, it's also super necessary! Like, if you ever want them to take a break from your shoes (which they still won't for very long), then you have to have some good chew toys around. There are simply so many cute toys, it's hard to only buy a few. Every time I go to PetSmart, I end up saying to myself, "Does Juggy need this cow chew toy? This bunny? This zebra?" Yes. Yes. Yes. He always needs them, I end up deciding. He also needs bones, toys that squeak, a Kong for when I need to occupy him with peanut butter, and pretty much anything that catches my eye.
Babies, on the other hand, do not need any actual toys. Maybe a rattle when they are very small. But other than that, all they do is sit and stare.
4. There is no free feeding option.
There is literally no inexpensive way to feed a puppy. You have to buy them food on the regular. You cannot feed them from your teet. Please don't try.
5. Rugs ... will be ruined.
People told me that puppy potty training is like a million times harder than kiddo potty training. I laughed and said, "Yeah, whatever, remember how I thought my son was never going to go on the potty with any regularity?" Then I got a puppy who seemed to legit have no bladder control in the first few weeks at home. I spent so much time cleaning up his messes and trying to get the poop and pee smell out of my house that I briefly thought about moving.
The real expense in puppy potty training is that rugs really will have to be replaced, unless you are just a wizard with a sponge.
Babies might have accidents from time to time, but they also wear diapers. And if you want to not spend money on diapers, you can use cloth. No one really wraps doggy butts up in cloth diapers, though. That'd be super weird.
6. A quality vacuum becomes a must.
I know I'm over here complaining about how not cheap puppies are, but here's an expense that's actually pretty worth it. A robotic vacuum. I just bought this Eufy, which is one of the cheapest and most hardworking robotic vacuums on the market. I got it because I was tired of vacuuming like 400 times a day, or every time the puppers decided to tear into a toy, a newspaper, or a stack of old books (his ultimate fave). I click the button on that vacuum instead and go about my day. The best part about it is that the pup is pretty intimidated by the robot and just cozies up on the couch while it runs. It's like an hour of bliss.
While babies make messes, sure, they are pretty well contained until they can walk. Even when they do, they don't shred everything in sight in the same way, either. Thankfully.
7. Training ... if you dare.
I honestly didn't realize that so many people actually send their puppies to training. I looked up a few local spots and OMG. I cannot even come close to affording puppy training! Instead, I try my best to correct bad behavior and reinforce good behavior. Ya know, like you do with human babies.
Though, let's face it, puppies and babies alike learn over time — like years. I'm just trying to enjoy the ride and not stress about my bank account … too much.
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