There are so many moms who feel like they are failing. Failing at work-life balance, failing at working out. Failing at date night, failing at not yelling. Failing at life, even.
But here’s the thing: There is so much hope! There is always hope, according to Lisa Canning, a parenting coach, author, and mother of eight kids under age 12 —with her ninth on the way.
“There is hope because I believe that every mom, no matter how much of a hot mess she thinks she is, has a unique set of skills and gifts through which they can rule and reign over their circumstances. The only problem is that mom-life is messy. The juggle is real. And most moms are struggling to keep up with the seemingly endless demands of motherhood, that they never get to identify and draw upon their unique superpower.” — Lisa Canning
Many would say that simply giving birth naturally eight times, raising eight children, and maintaining life as a functioning human while pregnant with her ninth child is admirable enough. Lisa and her husband, Josh, are proud parents to children ages 12, 11, 9, 8, 6, 4, 3, and almost 2. Their new addition is expected to arrive January 3. The family relocated from Canada to Florida before the health crisis.
On her Instagram page, Lisa — who has garnered a following from her earlier career as an interior designer for shows like Buying and Selling With the Property Brothers and her book, The Possibility Mom: How To Be a Great Mom and Pursue Your Dreams at the Same Time — champions her faith and shares content that helps moms pursue their dreams, build businesses, and prioritize the things that matter most. There, she also cracks jokes about her geriatric pregnancy.
“My pregnancies in my 20s were relatively easy,” says Lisa. “I ‘bounced back’ physically and had lots of energy. What I have found is my pregnancies in my 30s have simply felt more taxing on my body. But what has changed in a great way is my confidence in my abilities as a mom, my ability to rest and not feel guilty about it, and my love for my body and what it has provided me have all increased!”
Although she’s a coach, Lisa still encounters obstacles and, lucky for us, shares how she tackles them.
Morning Sickness
“As a trained mindset coach, I really had to self-coach on this one,” admits Lisa. “I found myself feeling deflated and dejected by morning sickness, and then I started to simply accept that it was a reality and not be dramatic about it. I even found ways to be competitive with myself. I would say things like, ‘I wonder how I can beat nausea today’ and that would get my mind to start thinking about how many tasks I could do before needing to take a nap, almost like a game. It worked for my personality — I love friendly competition with myself.”
Getting Through Natural Labor
Lisa shares, “A massive thought I have is ‘it's not pain, it's pressure.’ This concept has 100% gotten me through natural childbirth. It is incredible what the mind can do to not put our bodies into fight or flight mode.”
Self-Care During the Postpartum Period
“I love advising my coaching clients to not judge when they need to rest,” reveals Lisa. “Rest is simply necessary — it's our thoughts around what we ‘should’ or ‘shouldn't’ be doing that creates the drama — and it is unnecessary!”
Managing Sibling Fights and Chaos at Home
“This one is probably the most challenging for me,” she admits. “You really do need to go through a period where you select what you let go of — for a period. I am a big believer in paper plates, ordering takeout, and reduced expectations … but again, for a period! Because ultimately rhythms and routines are actually going to serve you and help you to thrive.”
“Thrive” is a word not often associated with life during the current global health crisis. Lisa chooses “to acknowledge there are things I can control, things I cannot, and choose thoughts that will keep me flexible and peaceful through it all.”
Part of that flexibility is sneaking in time to focus on her marriage during the past two years of staying at home. “Oh my word!,” exclaims Lisa. “We got creative with how to do date night at home! Date night was on the porch, date night was food ordered in, date night was any way we could make it special and unique. And it was also giving each other space!”
That personal space, we all know, is so important for moms to chase their goals and also keep their sanity. Lisa admits, “There was a time when I thought having children would be the death of my dreams. But for me, it quite literally was the birth of them. I was told, in basically these terms, at the beginning of my television career that having children would be career suicide. For a long time, I really struggled to reconcile the two roles — career woman and mom. I began to be desperate to prove to both camps that you could do both well — and the result was years and years of exhaustion, trying to copy other people in my profession, trying to copy all the ‘good moms’ I saw, never having the confidence or courage to chart my own course and do things entirely differently when it came to the balance of family and other priorities.”
Today, Lisa helps women advocate for themselves and even recently virtually organized The Possibility Mom Business Summit to help others start or grow a business without feeling overwhelmed or falling into mindset traps.
“We all have stories that we have about ourselves — some are true, some are not,” she says. “Some are helpful, and some are harmful. The key here is that you get to write your own story, and what holds a lot of women back is the stories they are saying about themselves. Write new stories, and realize that your self-worth is not based on your performance. You get to decide what success means for you, and how much meaning you will give to failure. Being comfortable with failure is a huge part of this, as well.”
For many, success can begin with delegating — an often difficult first step. A self-proclaimed “expert delegator,” Lisa says, “With nine kids, it's simply a necessary skill. And I have also really learned that there are certain things that are impossible to delegate. You as a mom and wife are irreplaceable — no one can do that job like you can.”
She credits her faith with the one thing that gets her through it all. “In times of suffering, it can be hard to cling to hope. But when I remember that I am never alone, that my suffering doesn't have to be meaningless, and that ultimately, this life is simply preparation for the next, there is so much freedom.”
And with freedom, comes hope — and possibility.
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