A woman finds herself in a difficult situation where she is expected to make up with a mother-in-law who deeply hurt her and caused major distress in her life.
In a question submitted to Reddit, the original poster (OP), a 21-year-old woman, explained that it all started when she welcomed her first child with her 29-year-old husband. Their little girl was born with darker skin and darker features than either of her fair-skinned, light-haired parents. The immediate assumption by OP's husband and his family was that she had cheated and the child was not his.
As a result, OP's husband kicked her out, forcing her to live with her sister for a month while she pleaded with him to get a DNA test. Once he relented, it confirmed that OP had been honest and that their baby girl was theirs.
OP explained that she and her husband had a great relationship prior to the birth of their child.
"My husband (29) and I (21) had dealt with a lot of drama and relationship issues after I gave birth to our daughter," OP explained.
"We been together since I was 18 and got married when I was 19 we had a good trusting relationship but there was [a shock] to everyone when I gave birth to our daughter."
Their daughter was born with features no one was expecting.
"She didn't have an appearance of having both of her parents being white, she had darker skin, brown eyes and came out with thick dark curly hair. My husband and I both have light colored hair and light colored eyes and white skin," OP continued.
"Everyone thought I cheated on my husband, which I never had. It was an awful moment of my life because I felt alone."
OP expected her husband's support, but he also felt he was betrayed.
"Even my husband thought I cheated on him and left me in the hospital alone because his mom convinced him to leave," she shared.
"No one visited me because my MIL posted pictures of my daughter on social media calling me a cheater. I didn't even see her take those pictures."
OP's husband ignored her and their baby for a month.
"My husband didn't reply to any of my texts, ignoring my pleas to get an DNA test. I had to stay at my sister's house for a month until I was able to convince him to get one, which proved without a doubt that he was the father to my daughter," OP revealed.
"My husband apologized profusely to me and allowed me back in our home and honestly ever since he treated me the way he did when I gave birth to our daughter, I feel different towards my husband and even a little distance."
Her mother-in-law never accepted the baby.
"Even after the DNA test, my MIL kept going on about how I cheated," she said.
"[She] called my daughter racial slurs and me every name in the book, she [spread] awful rumors about me and claim the DNA is fraudulent, and said she'd never treat that child as her granddaughter."
Now OP's mother-in-law is changing her tune.
"Recently my MIL asked to visit our daughter and referred to her as her granddaughter. I don't know what changed her but it made me feel uncomfortable so I refused," OP explained.
"My husband was angry at me that I did and thinks it gives a moment to help his mother bond with our daughter, and even said it's a child's right to get to know their grandparents. I don't know. I feel uncertain about this, expressly since she never even apologized."
Commenters urged OP to leave her husband and her mother-in-law behind.
One commenter noted how OP seemed at a disadvantage throughout the situation, noting that her husband was 26 when she married him at 19.
"I have seen cases like this. The husband is letting her be treated this way because he wants the public perception of her be that of a villain," they wrote.
"He's a groomer. He met her when she was sixteen and started dating her immediately after she became legal. Then married her, had a baby, kicked her out, came back and now wants his abusive mother have access to their child."
One commenter suggested OP's family's attitudes were fueled by our poor understanding of genetics.
"I do see an underlying ignorance that plays into situations like this. First, as a white person myself, I didn't realize until college that two lighter people could have a darker child. I had no idea darker skin could pop in a later generation. I didn't even realize that skin color of the baby isn't just an average of the two parents or very close, but can vary a lot," they explained.
"Also, in high school I was taught that two people with blue eyes could not have a brown eyed child. We were given a more simple then apparently 100% accurate version of how the genes worked and taught it as if it was completely true.
"This does not excuse the husband and MIL's other behavior. But some people have an incorrect understanding of genetics that would lead them to think this was an 'impossible' baby for them to have."
One commenter told OP she had gone through the very same thing.
"Run as fast and as far away as you can possibly get, I was in your shoes I literally feel like you just told my story and I promise it doesn't get any better. The mental abuse turns emotional and then physical. He'll start keeping you away from your friends and family, the only people that would be able to identify whats going on and help you," she wrote.
"Take your baby and get out while you still can. I got stuck for 8 and 1/2 years, I had to relearn how to live from being groomed and manipulated by him and his family. This is a setup with his mother, she is either trying to dig for more dirt to spread lies about you again because she's bored or she wants back in so that she can also groom and manipulate you and eventually you baby as well. Neither of these people have good intentions."
OP replied to this woman and gave many hope she would be leaving.
"It's nice to know I'm not the only one who went through this. It was really hard for me especially because I had complications during birth which made the first few weeks really painful for me, it would've been nice to have support," OP replied.
"My sister tried but she works full time and has children herself. I am rethinking my whole relationship and even spoke to my sister about moving back in with her. I no longer feel happy around my husband or like he even loves or cares about me, it's hard because I abandoned my parents for him. He convinced me to end contact of my parents because every time I talk to then they'd talk to me about how they disproved of our relationship, and I'd be completely broke without him. Thanks for sharing your story."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
