Kids can sometimes say or do the wrong thing when around adults they don't know, often without realizing they are doing so. One mom recently shared on Reddit that her 6-year-old accidentally misgendered a stranger at the grocery store, and the stranger ended up really mad about it.
The mom writes, "My 6 year old said 'Yes Ma'am' to someone at the grocery store bc they asked him if he was ready for school. The minute it came out of his mouth this persons mouth dropped and they looked disgusted."
The person turned on the mom next.
"They then turned to me and said 'oh great! Youre teaching your kid to misgender people based off physical appearance … Mother of the Year!'" the mom explained. "They then turned to my son and said 'I am NOT A MA'AM' relatively loudly."
Her son was really confused.
"My son looked at me in horror and i stepped in front of him turned my back to the other person, hugged my son and told him not to be upset, some people can be really ugly but that all we can do is be polite and move on."
Her son doesn't know what to do next.
"Now im all for people identifying as whatever they want," the mom continued. "I respect and accept everyone as long as they show me and my family the same respect. Ive spoken to my son and explained the situation the best i could in language that he would understand, but then he asked me 'So what do I say if I want to be polite if I dont know if they are a ma'am or sir?' I dont know how to answer that."
Commenters are mostly on the mom's side.
One person shared that her young child gets confused about pronouns: "My son is four and still messes up pronouns when they’re clear. He’s called me 'him' before and he very clearly knows I’m his mom. That person doesn’t understand that kids are still learning- your son did nothing wrong."
They're also questioning the motivation of the other person.
As a second person put it: "I don’t think it’s ever right to meet well intentioned politeness from a child with rudeness and petulance – it’s like an ego trip or something- they simply must let the kid know how wrong he was? Come on."
A third person pointed out that the mom didn't do anything wrong.
Ultimately, people also don't think the mom did anything wrong, especially not on purpose.
"You weren’t teaching your son to misgender," one commenter wrote. "He’s six and learning to navigate the world. He’s going to make mistakes."
"If this person is going to hold a 6yo accountable for using the wrong pronouns accidentally, then their issue/s are the responsibility of a therapist, not you."
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