Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady were married for over a decade, and between them, the two have three children. Gisele and Tom are mom and dad to Benjamin and Vivian, and Tom also has a son, John, with his ex Bridget Moynahan.
Before the split, Gisele answered some fan questions in her Instagram story and had an honest reply when she was asked how it feels "to be a stepmom" to John (who often goes by Jack).
Her answer was surprising. She said that she doesn't really love the term "stepmom," but her reason is really sweet. "I don’t like the word 'stepmom.' I like the word 'bonus mom' because I feel like it’s a blessing in my life." She added, "I feel so lucky that I got to have an extra wonderful little angel in my life."
And that's actually pretty excellent. It has always sounded like Gisele, Tom, and Bridget have a pretty good co-parenting arrangement in place, and Gisele's comment definitely reinforces that idea.
Another fan asked Gisele if she and Tom have a "secret recipe" to having time to spend with their kids. She answered, "I think we just try our best to be present with the kids when we are with the kids. I think it’s not so much [about] the amount of time, think it’s the quality of time." She also added that being "fully there with them" and "really listening to them" are both things that are important when it comes to raising kids.
She also said that it's been really important to her that she fosters a "loving and safe environment" for her family.
"I think what’s really important as well is the energy that is around the children. I think they really see how much we love each other and how much we support each other."
Luckily, it sounds like Tom Brady totally agrees with Gisele's approach to parenting, which definitely has to make raising kids easier. Gisele spoke about their shared parenting style, and said, "We never raise our voices. We never have arguments. We just talk things over if we have any issues."
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Tom's ex, actress Bridget Moynahan, has also spoken about the co-parenting relationship everyone shares. Last year, she told People about the effort they have put into blending their families.
"Tom and I made a decision to raise a child together and we both found partners that not only supported us in raising that child, but also loved our child as if he was their own."
Bridget also added that this arrangement was pretty amazing for their extended family, too. "I don’t think you can ask for more than that. My son is surrounded by love and grandparents that go on forever, and it’s all good."
Bridget and Tom broke up in 2006, and Tom began dating Gisele shortly thereafter. However, the two found out Bridget was pregnant with Jack two months into their new relationship.
In 2018, Gisele explained, "It wasn’t the ideal situation for anyone — there’s no manual to prepare you for that. But I’m so grateful for [Bridget]. I know this was hard, but I couldn’t imagine my life without [Jack]. I call him my bonus child."
She said that Jack's birth also spurred their desire to have kids. They had talked about waiting 10 years, but both wanted Jack to have a sibling close to his age.
Gisele wrote about the experience of welcoming her stepson in her 2018 memoir, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life. She also wrote about parenting young children, and how it's a struggle for everyone. "Things can be looking perfect on the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on."
She also shared that she wrote the book because "I felt like maybe it was time to share some of my vulnerabilities, and it made me realize, everything I’ve lived through, I would never change, because I think I am who I am because of those experiences."
She added, "When I became a mom, I kind of lost myself. It was like a part of me died."
"I’d been this very independent person. It was all about me. But now I had this little being, and I suddenly felt l couldn’t do other things and that was very hard for me. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, but when you’re actually experiencing that, it’s a shock."
This is a sentiment that is definitely shared by many mothers. Parenthood is definitely a shock to the system, no matter how much you want it.
She also wrote about experiencing panic attacks, which started in 2003: "I had a wonderful position in my career, I was very close to my family, and I always considered myself a positive person, so I was really beating myself up. Like, ‘Why should I be feeling this?’ I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel bad. But I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had."
She said the attacks got so bad that she even contemplated suicide at one point: "I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in." A doctor suggested that she try Xanax, but she didn't like the idea of taking medication every day.
"The thought of being dependent on something felt, in my mind, even worse, because I was like, ‘What if I lose that [pill]? Then what? Am I going to die?’ The only thing I knew was, I needed help."
So, with the supervision of her doctor, Gisele embarked on a total life overhaul instead. And it seems to have worked for her. She and Tom have split, but it seems all the kids are beautiful and very loved.