Sexism in the workplace can be experienced by anyone. One man recently heard from his girlfriend that she is experiencing quite a lot of sexist behavior at her job in the tech industry, but he didn't quite believe her.
He writes on Reddit, "My girlfriend and I both work in the tech industry and both have 5 years of experience. I have a CS/math degree and she has an electrical / electronics engineering degree."
His girlfriend hasn't been promoted as quickly.
"I have been promoted to a senior level at my company and she has been promoted only once and is still a junior at her company," the man continues.
"She always complains about how things are unfair at all jobs she had (3 so far) and how she is not given opportunities, supposedly excluded from meetings (while still claiming she gets asked to take notes in meetings) and decisions.She judges her coworkers for things they say that have nothing to do about work like when they talk about their wives and partners."
HR hasn't taken her complaints seriously.
"She and another woman once complained about a coworker for being rude in meetings and HR (which was dealt with by a woman) did not find anything wrong and dismissed their concerns."
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He thinks she just doesn't like the feedback she's been given.
The man continues, "She recently had a performance review and was not promoted and told that she needs to take on more challenges and told me that she does but is always told to hand over projects to other people when she starts them and excluded from the meetings."
He believes her ... kind of.
"I do believe that there is some sexism in the industry but I think she cannot blame everything on sexism and recognize that perhaps she has room to improve," he explains. "She thinks that because she graduated with honors with a 4.0 that translates to industry performance. Her degree is also in electronics and more hardware focused. I expressed this to her and suggested she follow her manager's advice to grow and she got upset with me and called me an AH. I get her disappointment but I don't think it is fair for her to expect me to just agree to everything she says."
People think he has no idea what he is even talking about.
One commenter writes, "The reason tech is such a male-dominated field, despite all of the outreach to get girls in stem is because there is a lot of sexism in the industry. Many women study for years for the tech industry only to quit in the first year because of the issues that your girlfriend is currently facing."
They also agree: Taking notes isn't appropriate.
Quite a few people were surprised about his reaction to his girlfriend being asked to take notes at meetings. As one person writes, "They’re treating her like a secretary. And he can’t see it. Even if she didn’t want advice, why wouldn’t you just offer support?? Rather than say there is no sexism, you just suck at your job!"
He now realizes that he was wrong.
The boyfriend has since updated his post with an admission. He adds, "I talked about it more with my gf and I think I was the AH unfortunately. It is unbelievable and it seems like the place is even worse than her previous jobs and I did not realize that. Also I started getting loads of DMs from people telling me it is not sexist and justifying that with sexist remarks and claiming reddit is left, I am also very left (and I don't think reddit is that left). I have encouraged her to job search again and we will reach out to our friends in the field for opportunities."
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