Once you become a mother, you might start to wonder whether you should continue in your career or put it on the back burner so you can focus more on your parental duties.
Mom guilt and societal expectations might have you believing that the latter is the best way to be there for your kids, but the truth is that being a career woman and an amazing mom aren’t mutually exclusive roles.
You can be a boss in your career without failing to be there for your children. In reality, thriving as a career woman can actually benefit your little ones. Here’s why.
You're a positive role model.
When children see their mom outside of a domestic role — cooking, cleaning, child rearing, caring for the home — they better understand the far-reaching roles women can have in society.
This is helpful for both male and female children to see.
Your daughters will understand that they can aspire to be a wife and mother if they choose, but that doesn’t mean they have to give up being career-oriented in the process.
Your sons will recognize that a woman’s role is not just to provide care for her children, husband, and household.
Having this understanding will support your kids at different stages in their lives, including while interacting with others in society as children, setting goals for their future selves, entering into the workforce, and even starting their own families.
You raise more independent kids.
As a career woman, you’re responsible for juggling your career responsibilities with your household duties. That often leads to your children taking on more responsibilities and being more independent in their lives.
This doesn’t mean they particularly grow up too soon or take on duties inappropriate for their age. But with mom not available all the time, they are taught to take on roles in their lives that many stay-at-home moms would often handle, whether that’s in the household, such as loading the dishwasher and sweeping, or personally, such as doing their laundry and ensuring their bookbag is packed for school.
This independence, instead of being catered to in all areas of life, can be tremendously beneficial as they grow older.
You spend more quality time with your children.
Time with your children is invaluable, but there is a major difference between quality time and a high quantity of time. Just because you have more time to spend with your children doesn’t mean it’s particularly quality time.
When you have a career, you often spend more quality time with your children because there are fewer physical hours available to be together. That means that, after work, electronics often go off or are used to build connection, family fun time is in full swing, and the evening routine for many families is focused on quality time together.
You have another focus in life.
Motherhood is full of love and joy, but it can also be full of chaos, headaches, and days when you wish you could hide in the closet and eat junk food until the kids go to sleep. That’s just the reality.
When you have your career to focus on, you have something else to fill you up besides your family. This serves as a constant reminder that you are more than someone’s something (mom, wife, girlfriend). You are (Insert Name).
This can help with identity issues that sometimes take place after moms have children, when they feel like they lose themselves in their role as a parent.
Also, when you have goals to work toward outside of the household, it can give you a sense of being that no matter how great, motherhood alone often can’t provide.
You can show up better for your children.
When you’re in a career that fulfills you or you are working toward goals in your career, it can allow you to show up better as a mother. You get time away from your children to work in a career that allows you to utilize your skills and be seen as a valuable part of an organization. That feeling of contentment can make it easier to show up in your role as a mom. If you didn’t have something outside of your children that made you feel valued or allowed you to work in your purpose, you might not have the same umph to give in your motherhood role.
Your kids can spend more time with dad.
What often happens when mom has an active career is the children spend more time with dad — this is even if both mom and dad work full-time. That’s because both parents are now on an even playing field workwise. Now, child-rearing responsibilities should include both parents more evenly in an ideal world. Instead of you being the go-to for kid-related responsibilities because you don’t have an "official" career, dad is often tasked with completing the same tasks and spending more time with the kids. The more active dads can be in their children's lives, the better.
