Relationships aren't always easy, and that can be doubly true when children are involved. Things can get extra sticky when the parents of the children aren't together, or when one parent feels like the other owes them a relationship.
One woman shared what she's going through on Reddit. Her boyfriend has a young child with his ex-girlfriend, whom he dated for quite some time before ending things. Since they have a baby together, it's impossible for the man to avoid his ex, and it seems like his ex is exploiting that fact for her own gain.
The woman writes that she and her boyfriend have been together for a year, and that he didn't find out his ex was pregnant until her pregnancy was almost over.
"My boyfriend of a year found out he was going to be a father by his ex-girlfriend when she was 8months pregnant and the baby is now four months old. They dated for a long time before breaking up and he and I met about eight weeks or so later when I moved to this town. Before he and I started dating I never even met this girl, not until she had given birth and I never had a problem with her."
His ex wasn't happy about breaking up.
"This girl, however, has a problem with me, because she thought the two of them would get back together (he initiated the break up and she didn't want to) and I sort of ruin that plan by simply existing. She's jealous and she's openly said she thinks I should go away so her baby can have an intact family."
Unfortunately, the new girlfriend has a criminal record that the ex has used to her advantage.
"When we refused to break up she took him to court for custody and child support and used my criminal record against me so that I can only be around the baby when my boyfriend is present and I cannot stay in our apartment overnight when the baby is there."
While the words "criminal record" look rough, the woman says it's not as bad as it seems.
"My criminal record is a lone case, from several years ago, I was 18 and made a stupid, senseless, idiotic choice that had consequences. No one was hurt but one of the people I committed the crime with was under 18 and those of us over 18 were all charged with child endangerment. I'm currently at the tail-end of my plea deal probation and have had no infractions or violations and strive to make up for the stupidity of my past."
This means she can't be in her own home for several nights each month.
"So two nights out of every week, plus every other weekend, I have to find other accommodations, which is kind of a drain on my financials and also makes me angry because even though I'm not on the lease at our apartment, I pay 50% of the bills and can prove this with proof-of-payments and credit card statements, etc. So, 12 days out of the [month] I have to leave my home, and my boyfriend is now paying child support and spending money to buy the baby food and clothes and toys, doctors bills and such, so he can't afford to help me."
Things were going more or less like they usually do until the woman ran into her boyfriend's ex at while out shopping.
"The other day I was running some errands with my best friend and the baby's mother happened to be at the same shopping complex. She waved at me and began to come over. I don't want to deal with her for all the obvious reasons so my friend and I hurried up loading the car and drove away."
The ex was pretty mad and is now threatening to take the woman's boyfriend back to court.
"Later my boyfriend came to me and said the baby's mom was blowing his phone up with complaints because I ignored her. He told me that he's trying to keep a cordial relationship with her even if she refuses to do the same and now this girl was threatening to take him back to court and get his visitation changed all because I refused to speak to her. If we want to get technical, yeah I ignored her, but she can't really know that because I was wearing sunglasses and saw her across the parking lot over several cars, so she can't really even prove I noticed her, but the damage is already."
The woman also explained her past in more detail.
"I know some people will also judge me for the criminal past I mentioned, I only ask that you take a moment and understand that I not the same person I was when I committed the crime; I plead guilty, I did community service, I took classes that the judge ordered me to, I dutifully serve my probation and have never committed any violations while serving my probation. I fully acknowledge that I messed up and strive to better myself everyday. Since being found guilty and accepting a plea I have not even received a traffic violation."
She wants to know: Who is the problem here?
People get it — but they also don't get it.
"Honestly I don’t blame you for ignoring her but obviously it was going to make your life harder (or at the very minimum your boyfriend’s)," one commenter noted. "To be honest though if she thinks you’re so untrustworthy that you can’t be in the same house overnight with her kid then she has no business coming up to you to talk without your boyfriend present. For all you knew she was coming up to start a fight."
Not everyone is on the new girlfriend's side.
There are also lots of people who think the ex is making solid choices, and that it wasn't a great move for the woman to ignore the ex in the first place.
"Does she want back in her house when the kid is there or not???" one commenter wondered. "Make nice op! I’m kind of NAH because I don’t think the mother has done anything wrong. As for the rest, the stuff mom did sounds totally reasonable (child support and not wanting a kid around a criminal she doesn’t know)."
Some people think she needs to consider all of her options.
A commenter cautioned: "If I were you I'd give some serious thought to whether you want to be part of this circus in the long-term though."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
