Blending families can come with a lot of highs and lows, and hopefully the two adults doing the blending learn how to navigate those together. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case, as one mom is learning the hard way.
She opened up on Reddit about a seemingly impossible situation: Her fiancé recently bought plane tickets for the two of them and their shared five kids — and he put everyone except her kids in first class.
She explains that her fiancé supports them right now.
"So, my fiancee has 3 kids from his former marriage whilst I have 2, from my former marriage as well," the woman begins.
"I quit my job to start focusing on getting my degree. He's become the 'breadwinner' if you will although I still contribute with my savings! I also do 80% of child-care and chores."
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He invited her and her kids to his family's for Thanksgiving.
"Long story short, He wanted me and my kids to attend thanksgiving with his family who are located across country and we were supposed to go yesterday (ahead of time to get a rental place)," she continues. "He booked our tickets and everything but later, before the flight I found out that he, his kids and myself were put in 1st class whilst my 2 kids (14) & (10) were put in economy."
She decided to skip the trip.
"I was stunned, he acted like it was a no big deal and told us it's just few hours and the kids could 'just hang in there for a little while'. I asked how he could think this was acceptable and he got mad and said he's the one paying for tickets then we go by his rules. I immediately turned around and took the kids and made my way out of the airport. He started following us screaming at me to go back but I refused and told him that I no longer felt like spending thanksgiving with his folks after this. My youngest cried because she never flew without me."
Now he's harassing her, and his mom is joining in, too.
"He went with his kids,' she explains. "My and the kids are home. He has not stop calling trying to berate me and even had his mom text that I needed to get over myself and stop teaching my kids to be spoiled and entitled. She said that the fact that I was 'willing' to miss thanksgiving with the family over something so trivial shows my real character and perseonality and mindset or 'lack thereof'. I have not replied but I feel horrible."
She decided to leave him.
In an update, the woman explains that she's done: "I'm currently getting myself and the kids packed so that we go stay with my mother. This has happened BEFORE in other instances but I kept thinking to myself 'this is not right but I have invested too much time and effort in this relationship so maybe this shouldn't get in the way'..and I'd try to minimize most situations where I find my kids being put last."
He's trying to use a lot against her.
"Not only that but he tried to give me an ultimatum regarding getting my degree and what was my response? 'This isn't right….' but kept making light of it and letting go. Now he's probably badmouthing me to the whole family (and so is his mom, bless her effing heart)The kids and I are leaving, He'll be coming back to an empty home…except he'll find some company with the engagement ring that I took off and left on the nightstand."
People are completely on her side.
One commenter wrote, "His kids in first class, your kids in economy? That's a bad sign for the future. Then his response is to berate you and future MIL calling your kids spoiled and entitled? Even worse. It would not have ended here. I would be done with that relationship."
As another put it: Put your kids first.
A second commenter wrote, "Be your child’s champion and don’t let anyone treat them as less than. He’s sending a direct message that your kids aren’t members of his family. Rethink this marriage."
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