There's one thing that all parents want — and that's for their children to grow up to be kind and respectful. It's important to have kids who can take accountability for their own actions, since that shows that they're mature enough to handle life on their own.
But one mother is fully aware of her son's shortcomings. She went on Reddit to get opinions from those outside of her situation. Her story is slightly heartbreaking, and one that every parent might feel sympathetic over.
From the first paragraph, you can tell she wishes things were different with her son. "My son (40) is what people call a 'ladies man,'" she wrote. "I had no problem with it until last year when he got a girl (20) pregnant because he said that condoms don't work for him so they had unprotected sex. When he found out about the baby he blocked the mom and ghosted her for a month."
Already, you can feel the tension.
The young woman, who's a college student, chose to keep the baby.
"His baby's mom reached out again saying that he didn't have to care for the baby, but that he had to pay child support," she explained. "I was shocked and told him that he could either step up or not, but that I would have a relationship with the child because it is my only grandchild. He choose to not step up and tried to fight child support, but a month ago he was placed on it."
Since the baby was born, things have gotten harder. "Now that my granddaughter Lily is born, I have been helping pay for everything because her mom is in college and my son quit his job so his payment would go down," she said. "I am very disappointed in him." As she should be.
She's also helping to watch baby Lily.
"I watch Lily during her mom's classes and pay for her to have a nanny so the mom can work hard to get her degree," she said. "Money is no problem for my family, but my son is very angry that I am helping them out. He says that they should not get my money and that if the mom needed help then she should have aborted it."
He's so upset that he gave an ultimatum. "I told him that I will continue to help them because my granddaughter is [innocent] in this and that he was the one who refused to wear a condom so they should not have their life ruined," she wrote. "He said that it is either him or them and I said that I would always help my granddaughter."
After hearing that, he cut off contact.
"He has stopped talking to me and my daughter said that I went too far and that I should just cut ties with them," she noted.
Having her daughter side with her son must have been extra painful. It's an awkward situation, but it's truly respectful for her to have stepped in and helped when her son refused to.
Luckily, Reddit was able to shower this grandmother with a little bit of love. But that doesn't mean people were necessarily kind.
"I would disinherit him in a heartbeat," wrote one Redditor. "Write a will that cannot be challenged and make sure to get an attestation from a medical professional stating you were sound of mind when the will was drafted."
That commenter wasn't the only one who thought her son should be written out of the will.
"Continue to give your granddaughter all the love and support in the world and good on you for rightfully placing blame on your son instead of putting the baby's mother down like a lot of people do in situations like this," wrote another commenter. "I can't get over how awful your son is being. He’s behaving the way I would expect a 15 year old to, not a man almost three times that age."
Writing off your own child is incredibly difficult to do, but it seems as if the son almost welcomed it after forcing his mom to choose.
"PLEASE KEEP BEING A GREAT GRANDMA & tell your son he needs to start working, because he won't have any net to fall back on," suggested one person. "His daughter can take his spot in the will."
A lot of people had a hard time believing he was 40.
You're not supposed to have it all figured out by the age of 40, but you should at least take responsibility for yourself. The fact that he's a grown adult who refuses to acknowledge he has a child isn't a good look. It's possible that if his mom doesn't put her foot down now, she'll keep getting caught in the middle of these situations.
Even worse is that her daughter is also making her feel like she's in the wrong for caring about her grandchild. A lot of people think both kids of the original poster need a huge wakeup call.
"His sister is not much better from what I read," wrote one commenter. "OP needs to give both children a wake up call that you don't always get your way and when you screw up you need to step up."
Hopefully, this grandma returns with some updates.
Fingers crossed that she gained a lot of confidence from the Reddit community. It seems like she needs to put her foot down, make big changes, and possibly rewrite her will if this is how her son is acting in the situation. He doesn't have to be a present father, but trying to refuse to pay child support is downright low — especially since the mom in the situation made that quite clear before the baby was born.
Lily is in luck. She has a grandmother who loves her and supports her and a mom who's striving to get a degree to provide a better life. No matter what, she wins in this situation. Hopefully, they will always have a close and strong bond.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
