Celebrated actor Kirk Douglas died in 2020 at the age of 103. As can be expected when you live to an age like that, his life was filled with incredible stories. One of the greatest stories he lived was his 70-year marriage to his wife, Anne.
In 2015, Kirk told People the key to keeping a marriage going for 70 years: "We solve our disagreements with a kiss." So easy!
Of course, their marriage was filled with the ups and downs that all longtime marriages and relationships go through. However, these two really found a way to make it work. They first met in 1953, when they were in Paris for the movie Act of Love. Both Kirk and Anne were actually in relationships with other people at the time. Kirk was engaged to Pier Angeli, and Anne had married a friend from Belgium during World War II.
However, fate was determined to step in. Kirk wrote in the pair's 2017 book, Kirk and Anne, "This self-possessed beauty was very different from the women I had been involved with in Hollywood since Diana left me."
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Kirk went on to share that he decided to ask Anne out, but she said no! At the time, Kirk was already a well-known film star and was used to women wanting to date him, so her refusal surprised him. In their book, Anne wrote, "He said, 'Come on, let me take you to the lion’s den.'" What's the lion's den, you might wonder? Kirk's trailer on set!
Kirk had the whole first date figured out. He told the Los Angeles Times, "I thought, I'll take this young beauty to dinner at the most romantic — and expensive — restaurant in Paris, La Tour d'Argent. She's sure to approve of my taste and my ability to get a last-minute reservation."
Anne's actual refusal is pretty hilarious. She told him, "No, thank you, I think I’ll go home and make myself some scrambled eggs." Kirk said that Anne was "the most difficult woman" he had ever met. He told USA Today, "I mean, I was a big movie star! And I invited her to dinner and she said, 'Oh thank you very much, but I’m so tired.'"
Anne ended up working as a publicist for Kirk, but the two were strictly friends until, as Kirk put it, "I stopped talking about myself and began to listen to her." Magic!
The pair also went to a charity event at a circus early in their relationship, and it ended up being a game-changer for Anne. Kirk was dressed in a tuxedo and somehow spent part of their time at the event cleaning up elephant dung. Anne said, "That’s what got me. It was not only funny, it was showing me that he was able to do things that are not expected from him."
Anne and Kirk were married in 1954, and the two had children, Peter and Eric. Kirk also had two sons, Michael and Joel, from his marriage to actress Diana Douglas. Anne and Diana even became friends and would regularly have lunch together. That's a pretty progressive move on their part, and probably one that made it a lot easier for the kids.
Anne and Kirk's book, Kirk and Anne: Letters of Love, Laughter, and a Lifetime in Hollywood, is filled with all kinds of gems. One is portion of a love letter Kirk wrote Anne in 1957, while he was filming Paths of Glory:
“Darling, How is it that when I am away from you, such love for you overwhelms me at 2:30 in the morning — as it is now — I awake to write to you. How incomplete I seem without my family. How can a man live alone? To live just for yourself is to be dead. And yes I welcome this parting from you to rekindle my awareness of how much you mean to me. The early hour brings out the poetic side of me.”
Anne was no stranger to love letters herself. She wrote to Kirk:
“I am so sad and depressed. I don’t think I ever wanted to be near you as much as right now. The toilet paper is too hard; the coffee is too strong … the telephones are impossible. Don’t I sound like a true American? But even being a European broad, what on Earth am I doing here!!!”
But as always, where there are ups … there are also downs. Kirk had several affairs while he was married to Anne, and he was very honest about them in their book. The women he had affairs with included Rita Hayworth, Patricia Neal, and Christina Crawford (Joan Crawford's daughter).
However, Anne had a response that might surprise many: "Kirk never tried to hide his dalliances from me. As a European, I understood it was unrealistic to expect total fidelity in a marriage."
Even though Anne was more understanding, the stress of the extra relationships appears to have caused some cracks.
In another letter, Kirk wrote to Anne:
“Darling, I have a feeling you’re not coming back tonight. I hope I’m wrong! It’s been a bad day for me and probably a worse one for you … but I hope that you are here to read this and that I find you when I get back. Suddenly it seems stupid that I am going to dinner without you — Because believe it or not I love you!”
The two had another giant fight in 1958, when Kirk was invited to fly with Mike Todd, Elizabeth Taylor's husband, on his private plane. Mike actually died when the plane crashed on the very trip Kirk was meant to be on … and it turns out Kirk didn't make the flight because Anne had a "strange feeling" about it and the two had a fight.
Anne and Kirk went on to become well-known philanthropists in Los Angeles. Each year, they brought Thanksgiving dinner to the Los Angeles Mission, which provides services to the homeless population in LA. It's also the same place where Kirk would get meals when he first moved to LA and didn't have money.
Anne and Kirk also had other personal traumas. The pair lost one of their sons, Eric, when he died of an accidental drug overdose. Anne confronted breast cancer, and Kirk struggled with depression after he had a stroke.
Anne and Kirk renewed their vows on their 50th anniversary, and Kirk even wrote a poem for his wife that's included in his book Life Could Be Verse: Reflections on Love, Loss, and What Really Matters:
“Romance begins at 80
And I ought to know.
I live with a girl
Who will tell you so.”
