I have ritual that I have done every day (or at least, most days) with my daughter since she was born. I give her a kiss from me, along with all of the other people in her life who love her. In my heart, it feels like the perfect way to teach her the names of relatives. But it is also a great way to show her how much she's loved.
There are so many ways to show love. But by including it in our nighttime routine, I'm making sure that there's time every day to express it verbally. I feel like sometimes a simple "I love you" can change my entire day around. If my child is quietly in distress, who knows? The phrase may help turn her entire day around.
One of the scariest possibilities in my life is my daughter ever thinking she's not worthy, or loved, or important. I want her to know that I'll always be there for her, no matter what. And I hope that by my expressing that love, she'll always feel comfortable talking to me about any issue she wants.
Of course, I can't predict the future. But letting your kids know that you love them every day will make sure they always get the message. It'll remind them that they matter, and that can do wonders for someone's self-esteem. If you're looking for more creative ways to tell someone you love them, here are are some innovative (yet not outlandish) ideas.
1. Write cute notes in their lunch.
Even if they're learning from home these days, a sweet note will perk up anyone's day. If you think your child may be embarrassed about it, you don't have to make it too lovey-dovey. Instead, maybe put a joke in there, or a pun, or something that'll make them think. These notes can really brighten their day when they need it most.
The art of assembling a nice lunch is also a great way to tell someone how much you care. Moms shouldn't go overboard in making each lunch box a complete masterpiece, but added detail (even if that means getting their favorite fruit snacks) is always appreciated.
2. Find a new way to compliment them each day.
It can be anything from their choice of sneaker to their interest in this year's election. Find something unique about your child, and make sure you point it out. This will make your child know you're taking notice and are proud of them.
Even little things should be recognized. For example, if your child asks a good question about something during dinner, saying "Great question!" will boost their spirits and make them more willing to participate in the family conversation.
3. Help them with their chores or homework.
There's a difference between helping and doing. You can sit with your kids as they clean up for the day and have a conversation. Or use it as a good time to chat about plans for the rest of the week. By making chore time special, it's less of a drag for your child.
Homework should be something you can help out with. You might not be a teacher, but by showing interest in what they're learning and helping when you can, you're showing that you're invested in their education. Just make sure you don't cross a line. Your child won't learn if you're doing all the work.
4. Plan special day trips for just the two of you.
This is even more special if you have multiples, as each kid will get special alone time with mom or dad. Little outings or hikes will help you bond with your child and get to know them. It's never too early to start having conversations with your kid, and when they have your full attention, they'll be more likely to share their thoughts and opinions.
Having more than one child in the house may be a little stressful at times, but individual hangouts will remind your kids that they're individuals. For example, it'd be great to take a dinosaur-loving child to a museum solo, when you don't have to worry about others who might bring down the experience if it's not necessarily their thing. Fostering each child's interests individually will show them you care.
5. Always be empathetic.
Sometimes, adults can forget the magnitude of issues for kids. Adults have a lot on their plates right now — especially this year. That means it may be easy to brush off what we perceive to be children's smaller concerns, like a not-so-great grade on a test or a social problem at school.
Even though you know that your fourth-grader's crush likely isn't serious, to them it matters a great deal. So make sure not to minimize their problems. Give your child some great advice that doesn't include anything like, "Nobody meets their match in fourth grade," or "You'll forget about it later." Those aren't comforting and won't make a big difference at the moment.
6. Let them make some choices.
Why not let your child choose what to wear to school? They'll love the ability to be independent, and they'll learn more about their personal style. By giving your kids some freedoms, they'll know that you want them to be happy and to express themselves however they want.
Parents should always make sure to choose their battles. Not everything should be a fight. Small daily decisions, like which type of sandwich to eat for lunch and which pair of shoes to wear, mean a lot more to your child. And they'll make them feel more comfortable around you.
7. There's no such thing as too many hugs.
That is, unless your child asks you for a little more space, which is their right. Having a physical connection that includes hugs and cuddles will make your child feel loved, especially if you're a person who may have difficulty expressing it verbally.
Hugs themselves have been scientifically proven to help lessen stress. "Scientists say that giving another person support through touch can reduce the stress of the person being comforted," writes Healthline. "It can even reduce the stress of the person doing the comforting."
They've also been linked to helping both heart health and general wellness. And of course, they make people feel like they're not alone.
