There is a reason why a lot of relationships don't recover from infidelity. Even when both parties think they can move past it, there are a lot of instances where one person can't actually do so in the ways that matter.
Such seems to be the case with one woman who took to Reddit to explain her situation with her marriage. The original poster, who is already a mother, explains that her husband had an affair that resulted in a child.
OP says she can't see the child as her stepchild, then refers to the child as "an affair baby." She explains that she was planning a family vacation that was not supposed to include the child. Schedules have changed, and now the child is slated to be with them during that time, but OP wants no part of the child joining the vacation.
OP explained how she ended up in this situation.
OP gave some background on how she ended up with a stepchild.
"My (f38) husband (m58) has a child from an affair he had a couple years ago," she explained.
"I forgave my husband but I can not force myself to see his son as my stepson. The custody [arrangement] is that my husband has him every other week."
The way the arrangement will play out this year doesn't please OP.
"Christmas and most [of] Christmas vacation this year falls on the days that he has him," she explained.
"I have an annual trip that me and few of the other housewives put together for all of families. His ex-mistress, Leah, is refusing to take him for just this week."
OP is exploring all options to have the trip without the child coming.
OP tried to guilt Leah into taking her son, but it didn't work.
"I told her she's being selfish and that she should want to spend Christmas with her son. She said that so should my husband," OP said.
"My husband agreed with me so we decided we would drop him and his presents off to my [mother-in-law]."
Leah was furious with OP and her husband for being so selfish.
OP was somehow surprised that Leah was angry with this solution.
"When Leah found out she was furious she said I'm being selfish," OP shared.
"I told her she's the last one to be talking about being selfish and she has [no] control over what my husband does with the child during the time he has custody of him."
OP's own daughter told her she's being unreasonable.
"My oldest daughter (f18) told me she agrees with Leah and that there’s no reason why he's being punished for their affair," OP wrote.
"I told her to stay in a child's place and that if she keeps this up she'll be joining him."
Commenters gave OP a much-needed reality check.
There was no sympathy for OP, who many agreed was being mean and not addressing the real problem.
"If you can't handle being around the child, you haven't forgiven your husband," one commenter leveled.
"Instead you using that child as a target for you anger instead of the man who cheated on you."
One commenter noted no parent seems excited about celebrating the holiday with this child.
One person scolded OP for not treating this child better than either of his parents are.
"Whether you recognize it or not, that poor child is literally unwanted by either parent over Christmas. That's absolutely heartbreaking," they wrote.
"You may be angry over how this child came into the world – justifiably so – but he is still your husband's child. You have an agreement with Leah. The agreement is this is YOUR year with the child. I'd imagine you were aware of that when you planned this trip but went ahead with it anyway, which puts you in the place of responsibility.
"Stop being the Evil Stepmother and be a safe place for this child."
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