Planning weddings can be stressful for a lot of people, and that stress can be compounded if blended families are involved. One woman recently shared on Reddit that her daughter is hoping to invite her biological dad to her wedding, and the mom and her husband aren't supportive.
The mom kicks things off by explaining that her ex isn't a great guy, and she doesn't want to be around him.
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The woman and her ex don't get along.
"My baby daddy was an narcissistic jerk and was often emotionally abusive to me and made me cry regularly," the mom begins. "We had a daughter 'Mia' (22F) he left when she was 8 but regularly sent about 1500$ a month to watch her while he traveled the world."
She also says he missed birthdays.
"Mia would often cry about him missing her birthday but he would make up buy it by sending her consoles and makeup but it still hurt her that the guy didn't even bother showing up to her Birthday."
Her daughter wants her biological dad at her wedding.
"Mia is getting married soon," the mom continues, "and we were working on the guest list and when we were talking about who was walking her down the aisle she would constantly switch the conversation and me and my husband asked about it and she said she wants her biodad to walk her down the aisle."
Her stepdad was mad.
"My husband said 'I've been raising you forever it's not fair' and mia replied 'my real dad bought me a car, he paid for my surgery, and he even sent me money for a dog'. My husband looked heartbroken and went out the house and told me he was going to the bar."
Her mom might have made it worse.
"Mia looked at me and said 'sorry mom but I want him I know you and him have bad blood but I want him to do it I've been sending letters and he's been sending them back,'" the mom explains. "I then said something I regretted I said 'if you invite him I'm not giving you my wedding dress or coming'. Mia started tearing up and said fine don't come and ran out now my family is calling me heartless now I feel alone."
People are mostly on the mom's side.
One commenter wrote, "He abandoned her at 8 years old and his only contact was sending money. Here's an xbox and a dog. He can give her away now. She will regret as he will disappoint her again. I remember a similar posting where the dad bailed at the last minute and then the daughter was freaked because no other family was there."
But others aren't so sure.
A second commenter isn't convinced. They wrote:
"We also know that if we get a dollar for every time a narc calls someone else the narc, we would not have to work. Mothers first go to thing is threatning not to go, and is then only concerned for herself. I feel lonely now. NOT daughter AND I are both upset, should i try to mend this… No i am upset. Have you ever met a narc? major victems, never met one myself who was not 100% convinced it was everyone else.
"Dad did miss birthdays, did send presents. We do not know if he had visitation rights, or how that stuff was dealt with legally. We do know he paid child support, paid major things like cars, knew his daughter wanted a dog. And that based on the comment… they talked a fair amount of time. We know they exchanged letters. We know op [the original poster] only mentioned the money not the 'there for me when NOONE else was comment' And to me that is yta for leaving key elements out. And that really makes me doabt OP is the victem here."
