Bridesmaid Overhears Bride-To-Be Calling Her Fat, Loses A Ton Of Weight Before Wedding

"About six months before the wedding the bridesmaids were all talking in a group chat on Discord, and I overheard Kate (who must have thought she was on mute or that her voice wouldn't carry) rather snidely turn to Kyle and say that I would 'round out' the group because I would be a good 'counterweight' to her fiance's friend Tim, the idea being that Tim and I were both obese," she said. That's a hard statement to hear. But this bridesmaid didn't make a scene — in fact, she did just the opposite.

"When she moved back toward the mic and said something about not being on mute, I acted like I couldn't hear anything, and said something like 'Yeah, you were really far away, you sounded like you were underwater, I couldn't hear you,'" the bridesmaid said. While it was a lie, it was at least a good way to keep the peace during the chat.

It was a rude comment, and also completely uncalled for. Bridesmaids should be by your side to offer love and support, and looks or "balancing" the group shouldn't factor in at all.

"I had been planning on losing weight anyway, but I lost thirty five pounds of fat in six months and put on four pounds of muscle largely out of spite," she wrote.

"I've always hated pictures of myself and don't maintain social media, so it wasn't outside of the norm for no one to see me," she said. "As soon I knew what my plan was I ordered a size down in my bridesmaid's dress, then had it tailored in a little more. I wore the tightest Lululemons I could find when I met everyone at the hotel the day before, and seeing the visceral shock on Kate's face was priceless."

"At the wedding I still walked in with Tim, but he was a bit stiff and awkward around me which I attributed to nerves or just not caring for strangers," she said. "Later, after enough alcohol had been passed around, the truth finally came out that Kate wanted to set me up with Tim, which I refused, and before she was 86'ed Kate said 'you're not supposed to be skinnier than me, you're upstaging me at my own wedding.'"

One thing brides should have no control of? The bodies of their friends. Whether the bridesmaids gained or lost, the only thing that the bride should have focused on is their happiness. But that's not what happened. After hearing what went down, the mood changed a bit.

"We didn't have a knock-down, drag-out fight and it wasn't particularly dramatic," she said. But long story short, the wedding party was under the impression that she had rejected Tim, making her look bad. "Kate and I haven't spoken since the reception, during which I said 'Congratulations' and essentially ghosted after things went south," she said.

The first thing this bridesmaid needs to know is that she's not obligated to date anyone. Just because a friend thinks two people would be a good couple doesn't mean she needs to go along with it. And it's even worse knowing that they were seemingly "matched up" solely due to weight.

"It shouldn't be any of the bride's business what weight you are," wrote arsenicpixie. "You shouldn't feel pressured to go on a date with anyone, and provided that you didn't tell Tim that he was too fat for you, you're all clear for rejecting the idea of being set up with him. You didn't report saying anything rude or dramatic to the bride, and it seems like her preoccupation with your weight was largely based on her own insecurities."

ThrowAwayTheTeaBag offered another explanation, stating that upstaging just doesn't happen. "My wife had her maid of honor be her best friend, who is very conventionally attractive. Like, totally could be a model," they wrote. "I have no idea what she looked like on our wedding day because I was focused on my wife the whole time. My wife looked, and still looks, radiant every freaking day. When you're in love, you can't get shown up to the people who matter."

Why would you want the people you care about to feel bad about themselves on your big day? "I never understand brides who are obsessed with making sure the bridesmaids look bad," wrote BabyCowGT. "When I get married, my bridesmaids will be my sis/sil and my best friends. I want them to look and feel good! I want it to be fun! Not a torture session dedicated to ruining people's self esteem."

It seems like the real issue here is that the Redditor showed up with confidence. And that's something to admire. At least she realized that her friendship with the bride wasn't a deep and important one to maintain. True friends will never want to see you unhappy, nor would they try to mess with your love life without asking.