A young couple getting married has some conflicting feelings on who should be in their bridal party.
The groom took to Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong for asking that his wife-to-be remove one of her friends from the wedding party. The reason? The bridesmaid in question is an adult film star and he's worried what his religious family will think.
The original poster insists he personally doesn't have a problem with this person or her chosen profession. He feels like the fact that she's recognizable makes it the sticky situation he feels like he's stuck in.
OP explained that he and his fiancée are still planning their bridal party.
OP and his fiancée are due to get married in a few months. As they're getting their bridal party together, an issue has come up about one of the bride's close friends, who she had every intention of including among her bridesmaids.
'She is very close friends with an adult actress,' OP revealed.
"She used to work adjacent to that industry and made a lot of connections and this one stuck," he said of his fiancée.
"The friend is well known. Like I'm not going to say either her real name or stage name because she could be found very easily. Her face is also very recognizable to the point where if we go out to eat with her she will inevitably be asked for an autograph."
OP says he takes no personal issue with the friend's industry.
"Now don't get me wrong, I don't disapprove of her at all, that's her business. She's great," he noted. "But my family is staunchly religious. So much that my mom said that if the wedding was not held in a chapel she would not be attending."
OP goes on to explain most of his family is like that, though he doesn't necessarily agree.
"I know it's ridiculous but it's my family," he continued. "And it's not just her, it's that entire side with the exception of a few cousins and my siblings."
OP is worried about the potential for drama.
"This is a problem because how recognizable she is. I'll fully admit that prior to meeting her, I had watched a few of her videos just because of how viral they are," he explained.
"I'm sure other guys there will have seen her videos too, and if something gets mentioned or pointed out it could cause so much drama that I really don’t want to deal with on the wedding day. I also don't want attention to be taken off the woman I'm marrying because half the people there have seen one of the bridesmaids banging 6 guys at once."
He took his concerns to his fiancée and they didn't go well.
"I brought up my concerns and asked that she not make her 'actress' friend a bridesmaid. My fiancée was not happy," he said. "She told me that she is one of her closest friends and that she's not moving her out of our wedding just to appease my mother."
OP also felt right to object because the bride 'vetoed' one of his groomsmen.
"I told her that I want our day to go off without a hitch and this is just mitigating risk. I also said that I felt that she owed me one because she vetoed a groomsman of mine because he cheated on someone in the bridal party," he pointed out. "She felt it was unfair and now we're at an impasse. She told me that they way I was behaving was gross and I was being an [expletive]."
OP pointed out a few more things in an edit to his post.
"My parents are very wealthy, and my mother will be paying for our wedding," he noted. "We all know no matter how religious they say they are they're still going to use porn. That isn't some gotcha."
His latter comment alluded to the hypocrisy many commenters pointed out.
"If people in your family know who she is because they consume her content then they literally have zero judgmental ground to stand on," one commenter wrote. "You can't consume the content and then be all high and might morally against the people making said content. That's some ridiculous mental gymnastics of morality there."
"Mate you watched her videos because you wanted to wank to them, and that's OK, it's her job to make you want to wank," another commenter wrote. "[But] you are supporting the oppression of women and suggesting that there is something wrong with being an adult actress but nothing wrong with consuming the content that is produced through her being an adult actress. Also because you see her as an adult actress who you have masturbated to first and a human second."
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