Some couples like to write their own vows on their wedding day, and some like to stick to traditional vows. One bride-to-be shared on Reddit in a since-deleted post that she likes traditional vows, but she wants to remove one key part: the pledge to take care of one another through sickness and in health.
The woman feels justified in her reasoning, but her fiancé is super upset.
The woman says she hates taking care of sick people.
She begins, "This is harsh but I hate taking care of sick people. My siblings and I were always taking care of our parents whenever they get sick and I just hate it, I'm sick of it and I hate feeling bound or obligated to take care of somebody, my life is full of moments and events like this and I just finally want to live my life to the fullest."
Then she praises her soon-to-be husband.
"I'm going to be married soon to my lovely partner and the best guy in the world. I'm so lucky and happy to have him by my side," she continues.
"We have been thinking a little about our marriage vows. My fiance is going to have a traditional Christian one:
"I, _, take thee, _, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith."
She wants to change hers to remove 'in sickness.'
She adds, "I'm going to have an identical one but without the 'in sickness' part, I'm going to replace it with 'in happiness.'
"My fiance says that he will not accept this and he is very mad at me, he is even rethinking the whole thing, I just don't want to feel obligated to take care of anybody sick for years of my own and only life, it's so stressful and I think he is being very unreasonable right now, it's just a marriage vow and I have the choice to change it."
She adds a note that doesn't really help.
Then she writes, "It depends on the disease, obviously, I'm going to have no problems taking care of somebody with a cold or some flu or some broken bones, however, if it's chronic/severe and requires so much time and playing around (diets, restrictions, surgery risk, special conditions, frequent problems…etc) like Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, disabilities, cancer…etc then no, I had enough of those in my life."
People are completely roasting her.
As one person writes, "Anyways it is super clear OP has no freaking clue what marriage is and the fiance if smart should nope out of that fast.
"Why on the world would you even want to get married then?"
And they're pointing out issues with her proposed line change.
The change she wants to make is also problematic. As one person notes, "'In happiness and in health'. So not only are you not going to take care of the 'love of your life' if he's sick but 'in happiness and in health' assumes you're only going to be around as long as things are good."
Ultimately, she isn't ready to be married.
A third person broke things down gently, writing, "The phrasing of vows isn't the issue. The issue is that you only want a partner if he's healthy and can do everything you want to do. But the truth of life is that we will ALL get sick and, eventually, die (unless we're killed suddenly before that happens). That's an unavoidable fact of life, and being someone's life partner means dealing with that.
"You aren't ready to be someone's life partner. And that's okay! If you never want to take care of someone, don't take that leap. You're free to live the single life, date, and never commit. But that means you don't get the benefits of committed partnership either.
"You can't love people in slices. You have to take the good with the bad."
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