Sara Evans and her ex-husband Jay Barker have reconciled, and the country singer-songwriter is asking for the "benefit of the doubt" from others. She and the former football quarterback divorced in 2021.
“I just threw my hands up and said, ‘I quit. I’m tired of this, and there’s no reason we should be living this way, because we have everything. We’re so blessed,’” she recalled of the time. “But at the same time, I was heartbroken because I felt like my hand was forced into doing that. I didn’t want to do that because I love Jay. We’ve been married for 16 years now, and 90 percent of that marriage has been very happy.”
The pair married in 2008, not too long after Sara's divorce from her first husband, Craig Schelske, in 2006. Her son Avery, along with her daughters Olivia and Audrey, took a liking to their stepdad. But over time, things became toxic.
After their divorce, Jay was arrested and charged with felony assault with a deadly weapon after allegedly trying to hit Sara and her daughter Olivia (who were in a car) with his truck.
"I just felt so ashamed and so stupid, and my child was so mad," she said of the night. "But you know that she was standing there thinking, ‘He’s about to hit my mom with a truck.’ I don’t know how close he got honestly, and I don’t know what it looks like to her. But I heard her scream so loud. I really did not think that he was trying to hit our car. I think he was trying to back up as fast as he could to see who I was in the car with, to see if I was with another man." Her daughter is the one who called the police.
More from LittleThings: Former Football Player Jay Barker Arrested After Allegedly Trying To Hit His Wife With Car
But now, in an interview with People, the "A Little Bit Stronger" singer is adamant that Jay has changed for the better, thanks to extensive individual therapy and marriage counseling. She's hoping everyone hears her out to understand why she made her decision.
“My biggest fear is that people are going to judge me or be angry with me for staying with Jay and not understand the whole story and the whole picture,” she said. “I just want, more than anything, for them to understand that each marriage is different, each story is different.”
A few months after his 2022 arrest, Jay sent a text to Sara that paved the road to reconciliation, but it came with a set of rules. He had to go to therapy individually and with Sara. She says they will remain in therapy “for the rest of our lives."
Jay also has to re-earn the trust of the children. He recently moved back into the family home and Sara says the daughter involved in the January 2022 incident has healed her relationship with him after “two major, major talks.” The divorce was dismissed in February 2023.
“When he came back into our lives, it was a complete switch, like he altered his brain chemistry almost,” Audrey said. “In past times, you could see something that would trigger him or make him mad, and all of a sudden he was quiet, and you could see little looks around the room. Now, he’s completely switched his overall energy. When somebody’s teasing him, instead of getting mad about it, it’s more of a laugh or like a, ‘You’re right.’ I’ve seen tiny steps like that throughout the past year of seeing a totally different man as a fatherly figure.”
While talking about her new song, "Pride," Sara says Jay encouraged her to tell her story exactly as how she experienced it. “He’s watched it with me many, many times. We show it to people when they come over," she said. “People are going to judge me. ‘Why do you feel sorry for him?’ But I know what he’s feeling — he’s feeling shame. But he’s also being brave and being like, ‘Yeah, that’s the truth. I did that.’”
