You've given birth, and now it's time to focus on getting your body back — and I'm not talking about your prepregnancy weight. So stop looking at your body's profile in the mirror, stop tugging at your belly fat, and stop trying to pull up your prepregnancy jeans. No shade to girlfriends, celebrities, and influencers who "snap back" after a few short weeks postpartum. But pregnancy and childbirth are full of complexity, dangers, miracles, and experiences that push women beyond what they thought they were capable of enduring.
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It's bigger than the size of our thighs. Most importantly, it's exhausting. Any mental and physical energy you have left over should be reserved for your own well-being. Losing weight after having a baby should not top that to-do list. Sure, we all want to reclaim our postpartum bodies, but there are more beautiful ways to do it than losing weight.
Society places an undue amount of pressure on women to be slim, even after just giving birth to a tiny human. And internalizing these unrealistic standards only adds to the anxieties of pregnancy and childbirth. It may be tempting to go online and look up the average weight a woman gains during pregnancy, but factors like genetics, body mass index (BMI), and food consumption can be determining factors as well. While it's possible to drop as much as 13 pounds as soon as the baby is born, it could take anywhere from six to 12 months to lose all the baby weight gained during pregnancy. Even then, your body may be altered in unexpected ways. Perhaps, though, instead of working hard to lose weight, you shift that energy to work hard at accepting this new version of your body, stretch marks and all.
Getting Your Body Back
When we think about getting our bodies back, let's remember the basic yet remarkable things our bodies are capable of. Celebrating the return of small abilities engenders more positivity than focusing solely on weight loss.
Remember when you first realized you were pregnant, then found out there was a rather long list of food that suddenly became off-limits? Did you sleep on your left side for the entire pregnancy? Were you limited to about two sex positions from your second trimester onward? Well, now that you've had your baby, you can do all of the amazing things you couldn't do for the past few months. That includes tying your shoelaces and picking up things you dropped on the floor, without strategizing and contorting.
If you suffered through severe back pain during pregnancy and it suddenly disappeared after childbirth — that's a win! The thing is, nobody warns us about medical conditions and weird things that happen to our bodies during and after pregnancy. From the painful, like hemorrhoids, to the strange, like skin tags growing on nipples, pregnancy is a physical and emotional roller coaster. Speaking of which — you can ride roller coasters again! Winning.
Work on Well-Being
One of the best ways to not just survive but enjoy the postpartum period is to see this as the perfect time to be a "basic bae." Shed the emotional and mental postpartum load by lowering your expectations. This period may bring about anxiety or depression, so don't add to it by tugging at your back fat. Instead, shift toward a positive mindset for you and your family. In addition to seeking therapy if you need it, reframe this period as a time of reinvention or reconnection.
Listen, you're probably not heading to a red carpet event anytime soon — in fact, no one is — so if you want to get on a diet, make it a digital detox. You may find peace in shutting down opportunities to compare yourself with people online whom you don't even know in real life.
If you've dreamed of having children, especially if you struggled to conceive them, slow down and witness this magical time in your life. From cultivating spirituality to capturing special moments, there are endless ways to enjoy this chapter in your life that have absolutely nothing to do with the size of your waist.
But If You’re Still Not Convinced...
You can still feel like you're making progress by taking baby steps. And by that, I mean taking your little one out for daily strolls. From improving your mood to strengthening muscles, walking offers dozens of health benefits and contributes to weight loss.
Ever heard of diastasis recti? It's the separation of your abdominal muscles that contributes to the bulge in your stomach area. Pelvic floor exercises can work these important muscles and help you stop peeing every time you cough or sneeze, which is another one of those things no one tells you about in pregnancy. Just remember to check with your doctor before engaging in any postpartum exercise.
When it comes to food, you should know that you absolutely deserve that cupcake. While your mind may be telling you one thing, it's important to listen to your body. If you're nursing and you find yourself feeling downright ravenous, just remember that you need those extra calories to keep up milk production. Ask your doctor what your caloric intake should be, and remember to stay hydrated and keep healthy snacks on hand in case the whole cupcake thing gets out of control.
Even when you've come to accept your postpartum body in all its glory, an unexpected social media post or camera angle can send you tumbling back into feeling self-conscious. Prepare for those encounters, because they will come. You can do that by engaging this moment in life as you would any other challenging period. Journal your small wins, surround yourself with uplifting people, practice positive self-talk, cultivate good habits, and above all nurture your body because it helped you bring life into this world. And forcing it to become smaller isn't the most beautiful way to say thank you.
