It’s a really difficult time for any family when a loved one dies. Even if it’s not a surprise, there are still so many different things to go over as a family, like their estate and will, which can cause stress and tension among family members. Often when there are several siblings and beneficiaries, there is a ton of paperwork and accounts to figure out to make sure everything is properly allocated to the correct individuals.
In this Reddit AITA forum, a Minnesota man with two siblings posts about how after his mother died, it was revealed that his sister was named as the primary beneficiary of her estate.
Instead of splitting all of their mother’s assets equally among the three adult siblings, the sister kept at least $360,000 to herself. Was this the right thing to do or should things have been more evenly allocated, especially since the original poster claims that those were his mother’s wishes?
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The original poster claims that things were initially set up differently, but things changed due to tax issues.
The OP explains that in 2011, “the last update to [his mother’s] will specifically states an equal split between the three” siblings. In 2021, the Department of Revenue seized $500 from one of their mother’s accounts allegedly due to some tax issues that the OP was experiencing. He explains that his brother was in a “similar situation with the IRS.”
Yikes. This is starting to sound rather complicated.
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The OP writes that at that point their mother was afraid that the government would seize some of her other accounts if they were associated with individuals with tax issues, so she made their sister the sole beneficiary. Their mother explained that this did not mean that her two sons were “disinherited” or “cut out,” but when the time came, their sister would “do the right thing” and still “divide the assets evenly.” Perhaps all of this should have been put in writing as well.
There were no explanations left in the mother’s will about evenly splitting her assets among siblings, so the sister decided to keep what she thought her mother wanted her to have.
According to the OP, things soon got tense among the siblings because after the mother died, even though the other brother was told the same thing, the sister decided that it was what their “mom intended” as she had “never said anything to the contrary” to her about an even split.
She kept a large sum of money from her mother’s estate. Was the sister simply doing what she thought her mom wanted or was there something more sinister at play here?
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The OP explains that there were at least $360,000 in annuities, or possibly twice that amount after their mother’s death, and his sister stated that “the annuities will not be divided.”
His sister also divulged that she planned to take a “third remainder of whatever is left after selling the house, car, and a few small items of value.” All of this will allow his sister to “live comfortably” for the next 18 years while the other two siblings feel shocked and betrayed by her behavior — can you blame them?
OP wonders if he’s the bad guy for eventually telling his sister that she chose money over her family.
The OP explains that he manages to be in the same room as his sister after speaking to his therapist, but his brother hasn’t accepted the circumstances by any means. He did wonder if he was in the wrong to tell his sister that their brother was probably “still processing the enormous betrayal” they both experienced due to their sister’s actions with their mom’s annuities.
The OP did want Redditors to know that both he and his brother did not commit “tax fraud,” but they were both just “stupid” and made some tax mistakes over the years, which resulted in some financial hardships and their sister being allocated the sole beneficiary of their mother’s estate. One Redditor thinks that their “sister sucks” and they’re “surprised that [he] still talks to her after all this.”
Several other Redditors were perplexed by some of the tax stuff that previously took place and wondered if the two brothers basically dug their own graves due to not properly paying their taxes.
One Redditor wrote, “Your mom did a crappy job settling her estate and now you’re expecting your sister to just take the word of her two brothers who can’t even pay their taxes.” Ouch. That’s kind of harsh.
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