Brad Kearns knows all about parenting, but he also knows that in a family, it's not just your kids you have to support, but your partner, too. And part of that comes from understanding the immense pressure that they might be under.
For his wife, Sarah — as for many moms and many women in general — he saw the pressure come in the form of looking "perfect" in a really short time after giving birth.
If you've had kids, you know that it takes a serious toll on your body and emotions. But you probably also know that there's an obnoxious pressure to "bounce back" to looking like you did pre-baby in a ridiculously short time.
Not only has he witnessed pregnancy and childbirth from his wife (twice,) but Kearns is also a gym manager, meaning that he knows how a human body is supposed to lose weight and tone down in a healthy way — and what an unhealthy workout and weight loss looks like.
And according to him, "bouncing back" in six to 12 weeks is not healthy.
What is healthy? Taking care of one's body and mental health, and giving oneself the time needed to get comfortable with parenthood. What else is healthy? Telling body-shamers exactly where to shove it.
Read his open, honest, and refreshingly blunt statement that he posted to Facebook below.
[H/T Daily Mail]
In a public post on Facebook, gym manager and father of two Brad Kearns opened up about what he sees as an unfair pressure from society on women to snap back immediately to their "pre-baby" bodies.
After watching his wife, Sarah, go through not one, but two pregnancies, he decided to say a little something about the culture of shaming moms for not losing weight or getting toned "fast enough."
"For nine months of pregnancy, the body is stretched, poked, and prodded like a science experiment. Personal space is no longer a thing.
From the bathroom to the toilet, everyone wants to know what's going on. It swells and gains weight in places it hasn't gained before.
It's okay though because everyone tells them they're 'glowing' and that should make it all better because it's beautiful and natural.
Then the baby is born."
And after the pregnancy, there's a whole new set of challenges — besides the baby.
"Soon enough, the partner has to return to work. People aren't visiting as often. They're left with the original responsibilities and a newborn that isn't sleeping properly yet.
It's hard to rest, hard to eat well, hard to even leave the house for some. Then, they look at Instagram and Facebook.
Oh what do you f***ing know, the celebrities with a personal trainer, chef, nanny, and a makeup artist post a picture that goes viral of their 'post-baby body.' That only took six weeks.
From that point onwards the expectation is set."
He says that he first realized the 'post-baby body' race to shed weight and tighten things up when his wife would complain about not fitting into her clothing.
And he realized that not only was racing to work off the baby weight unrealistic (who has time to go to the gym when you have a new baby,) but it was also unhealthy, mentally and physically.
So he decided to give his two cents, not just to his wife, but to any woman out there who might be struggling or feeling "not good enough" for not reverting to the body of a 20-year-old after giving birth in only six weeks.
That expectation is not only impossible for most women, but also damaging to their self-esteem and their sense of self-worth.
"F*** that expectation," he writes with his trademark bluntness.
Take as long as you need to look after yourself and get yourself back into the swing of things.
Things are tougher than that in the real world," he continues, referring to celebrity moms with teams of trainers (and access to lots of photo-editing software.)
Find something that makes you feel nice: clothes, candles, or a new hairstyle. Nobody who loves you is going to care how long you take. What they will care about is your mental health."
"It's unhealthy to think six to 12 weeks is enough time to bounce back with your pre-baby body.
If you're not ready, don't set the bar so high that you fail. Set your own bar. The one that works for you."
If you want more of Kearns' unvarnished, totally honest, and often hilarious takes on parenting, check out his Facebook page.
And if you've ever known anyone who felt bad for not "bouncing back" in the "right" way, SHARE his words with them!
