It can be difficult trying to balance everyone’s holiday expectations. One daughter-in-law found herself in a tricky situation when her in-laws insisted they wanted to come to the restaurant where she worked for their family celebration and have her be their server. She put her foot down and said absolutely not.
Unfortunately, this woman’s extended family and even husband did not understand why she didn’t want to do this. She decided to take to Reddit to get some backup and see if she was in the wrong. The internet was made for situations such as these.
Her in-laws want to go out on for Christmas.
The daughter-in-law begins by giving the forum some background information. She is newly married and her in-laws are staying with her and her husband for the holidays. Her in-laws “mentioned wanting to dine out for Christmas dinner” but she “offered to whip up a home-cooked feast instead. Unfortunately, they turned down the offer.”
The DIL is working as a server.
“Now, here's where it gets interesting,” the daughter in law explains. “I am currently working as a server in our town after recently being laid off from my corporate job. Lucky for me, the restaurant is closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Well, turns out my mother-in-law had other plans.”
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This MIL didn't take no for an answer.
The mother-in-law took things into her own hands. “She called up my workplace without speaking to me beforehand and asked for me to be their server for their entire Christmas dinner,” the daughter-in-law continued. “I found out through my husband that I'd be playing the role of their server for their festive family celebration, and my Christmas 'gift' would be a sweet tip and takeout from my restaurant.”
The DIL stood her ground.
It’s safe to say the daughter-in-law hated this idea. It wouldn’t allow her to enjoy her Christmas with the family at all. “Seems a bit odd, especially since our restaurant isn't even open on Christmas Eve or Christmas and I'd be available to spend time with them on those days,” she explained. “They're scheduling this dinner the day before we close and making it their designated family celebration. I politely declined because, let's be real, being excluded from Christmas dinner while working as their server? That's a hard pass from me.”
Her family doesn’t understand her reaction. “Unfortunately, I was told that I was being dramatic and there's nothing weird about me being their server for their family's Christmas dinner.” She asked Redditors for their opinions on the matter.
The MIL's idea is offensive.
Reddit’s popular AITA forum was overwhelmingly on the daughter-in-law’s side. They couldn’t believe her in-laws and husband would treat her this way.
“Damn, that's insulting and spiteful AF,” ranted one user. "We don't want you to cook or be a participant in our Christmas celebration, but we'd love to come to your workplace and have you serve us, so technically you're there with us but you can't contribute to the conversation and are required to be polite because it's your job."
Where's the husband in all this?
Many users on the site pointed out that the husband should have stood up for his wife.
“Even if my mother suggested this to me, I would never tell my wife, because I would never agree to this insane degrading plan in the first place,” one user shared. “I'd tell them [expletive] no.”
They went on to offer some blunt but helpful suggestions. “OP needs to sit down with Momma's boy husband and let him know he needs to cut that umbilical cord ASAP and that he's married to her and not his mommy,” they advised.
There might be more to the story.
Some users pointed out an even more nefarious possibility: Her in-laws might be racist. The original poster confirmed she has “Mexican roots” on her father's side and is “one-quarter from Native American ancestry, which I share from both my mother and father's sides.” One user pointed out that even though she passes as white because she is fair-skinned that doesn’t mean her in-laws see her that way.
“If they know your heritage and they are rich white folks – there is most likely bias there,” wrote one user. "Even if they are unconscious of it they turned you into an employee for the night."
It's a lot to process.
This daughter-in-law has a lot to think about and unpack. She has the users of Reddit on her side. Here’s hoping her husband and extended family see the light as well.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
