Parenting never really stops, even when your kids are all grown up. Parents of adult children still want their kids to be happy and healthy. In this spirit, one grandma wanted to protect her daughter should anything happen in her marriage.
This mom decided to start a “just in case” fund for her daughter who was working as a stay-at-home mother. She wanted her to have options if she ever chose to leave her husband. Her daughter and son-in-law didn’t take this well, so grandma took to Reddit's AITA forum to see if she was in the wrong here.
Here is the lowdown.
Grandma broke things down for us. “My daughter has been married to her husband for 3 years and they recently had their first child,” she explained. “The entire time they’ve been married, she’s been a housewife and now she’s a stay at home mom with no plans to return to work. I think that’s fine and have been supportive. I also know she and her husband both have sizeable life insurance policies so if god forbid, one dies, they’ll be okay.”
The daughter isn't completely covered.
Grandma is supportive but also pragmatic. She goes on to explain that her daughter signed a prenuptial agreement that only gives her a small settlement. If the couple divorces, she would have to go back to work. This would not be easy since her daughter has been out of the workforce for so long.
Grandma and Grandpa took action.
Grandma took the initiative here. “So, my husband (her father) and I set up a 'just in case' account,” she explained. “If she and her husband divorce, she’ll have money to fall back on just in case. If they remain married past the time my husband and I die, it’ll just be added to what she’ll inherit. I didn’t intend on telling her about it unless it happened but my husband pointed out that if she was ever in a situation where she wanted to leave but worried she financially couldn’t, it’d be good for her to know she has a Plan B.”
The daughter and son-in-law didn't take it well.
This did not go over well with their daughter. She felt like her parents were “rooting against her.” The son-in-law now feels like his in-laws “don’t trust him.” Grandma wonders if she did the right thing and asked for outside opinions.
The verdict is in.
Reddit users were overwhelmingly on grandma's side. They thought it was a really nice gesture and don’t understand the son-in-law and daughter’s reaction.
One user chimed in: “Wow. Dude wanted a pre-nup but no just-in-case fund for her? Who were he/his parents 'rooting for' with that pre-nup. Good for you guys, you just leveled the playing field. She is lucky to have you and I'm glad he knows. Makes for a more equal dynamic.”
The daughter may be thankful later.
One woman even shared how her parents helped her out of a bad marriage. “My parents did that for me when my daughter was born,” she shared. “And my dad pulled me aside at her second birthday and offered to pay for my divorce lawyer. Which was the kick I needed to finish putting ducks in a row. Ten years later and my life is immeasurably better for it. I had to dip into the fund this year for the first time. For a major home repair.”
Or she may never have to use it.
One woman shared how she funds her own “just in case” fund. “I have been married 25 years and very happy. I still have a self funded just in case fund. My spouse is aware of it and encourages it for the peace of mind,” she explained.
Some closing thoughts.
There was some debate on the forum on whether or not the grandma should have told her daughter. Most came to the conclusion that the knowledge was helpful. “All too often victims of abuse learn to hide 'signs of trouble' from their loved ones,” one user advised.
This does not appear to be a case of abuse but it's better to be safe than sorry. The grandma can rest easy with the knowledge she did the right thing.
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