Marrying for love is a relatively new phenomenon. Historically, marriages were more of a business arrangement. Some TikTok influencers are advocating for a return to this policy.
Many influencers are coaching their followers to find provider men. This allows women to be free to pursue whatever they want without being prevented by financial constraints. Some even offer classes and private lessons on how to best do this.
Karla Elia is one of these influencers. She found herself eager to get out of her parents house at 22 but hated school and her job. Instead she found a 24-year-old military man on Bumble. They were married in four months.
Karla took to TikTok to share her experiences. In one of her videos she stated: “Ladies, I found a way for you to attract the man of your dreams.” It quickly went viral and her follower count rose to 1 million. She now coaches women on how to attract a provider husband.
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Karla is not the only influencer out there preaching this message. Sahar Khorramnezhad puts her own spin on it. She wasn’t satisfied with her life as a corporate lawyer in New York. She met her financial analyst fiancé and quit her job. He supported her while she figured out her next move.
“I was so miserable; my partner looked at me and was like, you hate doing this,” she recalled. “He said, just quit, I got you, take time to figure out what it is that you want to do.” She didn’t work for eight months, eventually returning to school at Columbia University. She got a master's in family law and now works as a divorce lawyer. She wouldn't have been able to do this without his support.
Leticia Padua prefers to share her advice on YouTube. She has been vlogging for some time but has recently gained notoriety for her dating advice. She is married to a software developer. She thinks women should stop dating “dusty” dudes and instead focus on finding older, richer men. Marry for money and love might follow.
Leticia even has her own lingo. Don’t be a “Bob the Builder Chick.” This is someone who builds a man up and shares bills with him. Don’t be a “Pickmeisha” either. This is a woman who is so desperate to be loved she will take anyone, even if they don’t have the dough. Her favorite catch phrase is “sprinkle, sprinkle.”
Love it or hate it, the “provider men” argument is having a moment. Some argue this is outdated and sexist thinking. Leticia, Karla, Sahar, and many others believe having a man provide for you is the most freeing thing a woman can do for herself. Women who are provided for are free to live their best “soft” lives. This means doing what they feel like without the burdens of financial worries.
