Every bride looks beautiful on her wedding day. That is, if she's truly ecstatic about her new life ahead. It doesn't matter what dress she wears, or how her hair is styled — she immediately draws attention based on her radiance.
But, sometimes, a few bad actions may lead people to believe that a bride isn't beautiful — and, it often has to do with her personality. Maybe the bride clashes with family members. Or, maybe she's been verbally abusive to her spouse for years. Or, perhaps the bride pressured the groom into a surprise wedding.
That seems to be the case in one story, brought to you by Reddit. Every day, people tell their stories to try to get an alternative perspective. And this one seems to bring a lot of cringe.
The post was written by Separate_Bat_747, the father of the groom. He admits that even as of writing, he's still upset. As it turns out, he wasn't fond of their son's choice of wife before the wedding. But, he was also put in a position where he and his wife couldn't win. It's a situation that, if not dealt with carefully, can easily tear their whole family apart.
"Maybe it is more of a misstep than I originally thought," he started his post. "My son got married eight months ago, to a woman we've never liked. They had a surprise wedding, meaning none of us knew we were going to a wedding and we were told it was just a cocktail party." That detail is very important to the story.
"My wife wore white, now that I think of it my wife wears a lot of white and that makes DIL even more of a [expletive] for never warning us," he angrily wrote. "Well for eight months she has been trying to spin it to make my wife look like some crazed MIL who showed up in a wedding dress. She had a wedding picture on social media and when someone commented who wore white, she wrote back 'that's my mother in law, she doesn't like me' and a laughing emoji."
As many know, typically it's seen as being a faux pas to wear white to a wedding.
"Although many traditions are getting reinvented or excluded altogether, a constant is the bride is the only person at her wedding who is allowed to wear white," bridal consultant LauraLee Baird told Brides. And surely, this woman's mother-in-law would have followed etiquette if she knew it was her son's wedding that she was attending.
To try to save her reputation, the groom's mother tried to call out the situation. But, that didn't work.
"My wife called her out on it and she played the victim and whined about my wife trying to upstage her," wrote the father-in-law. "She has made a couple snide comments, and told people who weren't at the wedding that it was intentional."
He chose to discuss the matter with his son, which was a smart approach. But as it turns out, the bride may have been a little jealous of her MIL.
"He said that she is insecure because when she showed the wedding pictures to her best friend, who couldn't make it, the friend immediately commented that my wife is gorgeous," he explained. "I guess her mom said something too."
"My wife used to model and not to be an ass, but she draws your eye much more than DIL," he explained. "He said that she is insecure, and she has always felt insecure around my wife. Also we are hispanic and she is white, and I guess her own mom was telling her she should tan and she was going to look pasty compared to everyone."
So, it's possible the bride didn't feel all that beautiful on her wedding day, even though she shouldn't be comparing herself to her friends and family members. But to the OP, that was no reason to spread lies. "I don't really care," he wrote. "I have a 15-year-old daughter, so I certainly get that woman struggle with body issues, but you don't get to take that out on someone else and spread lies."
"She made another comment recently, about the picture being proof that she is the innocent one in the relationship, and I snapped at her that I am sick of hearing about the white dress, and that maybe if she put more effort into her own appearance she would have been a beautiful bride and people wouldn't be looking at her MIL," he said. "She stormed off and my son is mad. He actually said his mom has great self-esteem (she doesn't) so we should take the high road."
All in all, the situation sounds like it was poorly handled. While nobody should try and mock someone else for their appearance — especially on their wedding day — that goes both ways. There's no way that her mother-in-law meant to be disrespectful. If she knew it was a wedding, she would have avoided wearing white.
But self-esteem issues that run that deep should be treated by a professional. It looks as if these jealousy issues may never end, and it'll eventually form a big wedge between the bride's husband and his own mother. Redditor Itavan also noted that when there's a surprise wedding, dress code goes out the window.
"My high school best friend and SO invited all their friends over for a BBQ and they got married," the commenter wrote. "No one had to stress about wearing the right clothes, shopping for a present, worrying about stupid showers and bachelor party, etc. Everyone was delighted and had tons of fun. If I hadn't eloped, that's what I would have done."
But the OP did make some mistakes. Telling someone, especially a new family member, that they should have put more effort into their look is cruel. Fighting mean actions with mean actions will only make the situation worse. While he was likely trying to look out for his wife, he ended up hurting his son.
TheHatOnTheCat fully viewed the situation for what it was, saying that everyone was a little wrong.
"She lied about saying MIL intentionally wore a white dress to her wedding because she didn't like her," the commenter noted. "Except she actually wore a white dress because she didn't know it was a wedding. And not liking her is a separate issue. Why isn't son telling his wife to stop lying about his mom or correcting her? The only person in this whole story who did nothing wrong is more MIL (OP's wife) and she's the one being vilified on social media. So sad."
It's a reminder that when you marry someone — even in a surprise ceremony — you marry the family. If this marriage is going to last, the bride will need to learn how to handle the way that her mother-in-law looks, and feel comfortable in the fact that nobody will be actively comparing the two. Both words and actions have meaning. If this family wants to recover, there needs to be apologies from both parties.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
