
One of the hardest parts about falling in love is that sometimes the person we care for doesn't feel the same. Rejection is something we learn to deal with, mostly in our early years. Romances don't always last, and we learn that it's not the end of the world.
But for some, it's harder to handle. While not too much is known about their backstory, a 46-year-old Canadian man named Xin Yu shot and killed his 40-year-old wife, Min Ai, after she told him she wanted to divorce. Xin Yu reportedly waited for his wife near her Lower Manhattan apartment. First, he reportedly tried to stab her. Then, he succeeded in shooting her. After killing her, he then took his own life.
According to ABC7, Min Ai died at the scene. Xin Yu was officially declared dead at the hospital. It's a senseless crime that didn't need to happen. But it's also an important reminder that guns can ruin lives so easily.
Based on their different living locations, it seems as if Min Ai and Xin Yu were officially separated. The news outlet reports that during this separation, she was secretly dating a coworker at the Lower Manhattan bank where she worked.
While nobody at the bank knew they were dating, the boyfriend helped police move more quickly to figure out what had happened. Supposedly, the boyfriend got worried after being unable to reach Min Ai. Meanwhile, her husband was reportedly tracking her as she left her Battery Park City apartment to get to the bank.
ABC reports that Xin Yu had been carrying their marriage certificate with him. It's possible he wasn't ready to accept their fate. It's sad to know that as a husband, he had the capability of such a violent act against his spouse. No matter what happened in the marriage, using violence to prove a point is senseless.
According to the New York Post, Xin Yu confronted Min Ai between Morris Street and Trinity Place around 9:20 a.m. This is where he managed to shoot her in the chest. But that wasn't the only bullet he used on his wife. Upsettingly, he also shot her in the head before killing himself soon after.
"There was a construction worker across the street" a police source told the publication. "He said he turned his attention to the scene after he heard a shot. He saw the husband pick her head up and shoot her in the head." This is yet another reminder of how these violent crimes affect so many people. The construction worker likely will never forget that day.
Some reports indicate that the romance was serious enough for Min and her boyfriend to have moved in together. She had reportedly been married to Xin for 10 years before this incident. It's a disturbing ending for the couple, yet it's unclear whether or not the new relationship is what drove Xin over the edge.
The New York Post states that he knew about the relationship, but the details are hard to confirm at this point. What should be known is that an innocent life was taken. While divorce can be devastating — and financially complicated for some couples — it's a much better outcome than a tragic end that leads to two lives lost.
It's also scary to know that Min may have felt protected by the distance. Due to the state of the world, there aren't quite as many flights as there used to be. Perhaps by being so far away, she felt as if she could explore this stage of life without fear of stalking or physical harassment.
It's also important to bring up how common uxoricide, or the killing of one's wife or girlfriend, is. Women should be scared by the stats. Back in 2017, The Atlantic reported that over half of the female murders in America are caused by male romantic partners. It's far more common for men to kill women than for women to kill men.
"The CDC analyzed the murders of women in 18 states from 2003 to 2014, finding a total of 10,018 deaths. Of those, 55 percent were intimate partner violence-related, meaning they occurred at the hands of a former or current partner or the partner's family or friends," they wrote. "In 93 percent of those cases, the culprit was a current or former romantic partner."
They found that a third of the time, the man and woman had an argument prior to her death. Around 12% of the murders were due to jealousy, possibly over another partner or the potential for another partner. Only 16% of all female homicides are done by strangers that the woman has never met.
They also found that 15% of the time, the women were pregnant prior to their murder. Almost 54% of the murders involved a gun. Those statistics are hard to ignore — and scary for women who may feel intimidated by their partner. If a partner threatens you, it's best to get police involved — you never know when it may be too late to do so.
While none of us will really know what happened in the relationship of Xin Yu and Min Ai, it seems as if Min was ready to move forward and Xin wasn't ready to see his marriage end. It's unclear as to whether or not Min even knew her estranged husband carried a gun. It's also tough to figure out when he could have gotten one if he flew to see her.
Having a gun is definitely a reason for women to be scared. "Past studies have shown that an abuser's possession of a gun greatly increases the risk of female homicide," The Atlantic states. "Still, loopholes in gun laws mean that abusive spouses and partners often can keep their guns, even if they can't buy new ones. And the consequences of those loopholes, for women, can be deadly."
Hopefully, the family of Min Ai is able to properly grieve the loss. If they were unaware of any threats to her safety, it may have come as even more of a surprise. While Xin Yu was the one who caused the issue, it's also important for his family to grieve both his death and his violent actions.
If you or someone you know is in a relationship that's violent or abusive, call the Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE to speak to someone who can help.