Breaking up is messy, even under the best of circumstances. When your relationship ends just weeks before you were supposed to get married, things can get straight ugly.
Such is the case of one woman, who took to Reddit baffled by her former fiancé's behavior. The original poster explained that she called things off with her almost-husband after catching him cheating with his ex.
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To add insult to injury, the man in question felt slighted, so much so that he refused to pay back half of the debt incurred by canceling the wedding at the last minute. He told the bride that since it was in her name, it was her problem. But when she handled her problem the way she felt fit, he was none too pleased with her solution.
OP started with how the wedding got canceled.
Cheating is an awful way for a relationship to end, but such was OP's reality.
"I (27F) was supposed to get married to my ex-fiance 'Mason' (29M) on the 20th of this month. But last week a mutual friend caught him cheating on his ex 'Kim' so I called it off," she revealed.
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Calling off your wedding when it's a few weeks away isn't cheap.
"Because it's so close to our wedding date, I had already booked everything like the venue, catering and everything else. I barely managed to get any money back as it's mostly non-refundable so in total I've lost $20,000," she shared.
OP tried to figure out how to tackle that $20,000.
"Last year I took out a loan to cover the costs of the wedding," OP noted.
"The longer I take to repay it the more interest it gets. When we first got engaged, Mason agreed to sharing our finances together, meaning had we got married I would've been able to pay it off. This was supposed to be in our prenup but because we didn't get married, it meant he no longer had to share finances."
Cooperating would be the least he could do, but he didn't even do that.
"I asked him if he was still willing to help and told him that I will go into debt if he doesn't as I can't repay it alone," she noted.
"He told me 'It isn't my problem you took out a loan you can't pay back' and stopped responding after that."
That's where OP's engagement ring comes into play.
"When we got engaged, Mason proposed to me with a family heirloom ring belonging to his great grandmother that was worth $25,000. When we canceled the wedding, he told me he wanted the ring back but we never got around to arranging a time he could pick it up," she explained.
"Because I don't want to go into debt, I told him that if he didn't agree to help pay it off (I wanted a lawyer involved) that I would sell the ring."
OP's ex was unbothered by these texts.
"He didn't reply and ignored the messages. However after talking to a mutual friend (Jake) I found out he had actually read the messages and told everyone he didn't care because I 'wouldn't do it,'" she shared.
"I asked Jake to tell Mason that if I don't get a message from him in the next 24 hours that I would sell the ring."
OP called his bluff.
"Jake told me he again said he didn't care and didn't think I would do it. So the next day I sold the ring to an online website and messaged Mason to tell him it had been done and told him he shouldn't have underestimated me," she wrote.
"He started cussing me out, saying I didn't scare him and that he would be around for the ring later."
OP's ex showed up at her house, where things got worse.
"True to his word, he came to my house demanding the ring and I told him I sold it already and showed him the proof," she said.
"He blew up at me, saying I was a petty [expletive] and that I shouldn't have sold it because it wasn't just a ring, it was an heirloom that meant a lot to his family. A lot of my family members think I overreacted and shouldn't have gone to extreme measures as it will be hard for him to get the ring back, if he even can at all."
OP thought she might be in the wrong, but commenters felt otherwise.
"You gave him a heads up and ample opportunities to settle up with you before you did it," one commenter noted.
"I don't know why he thought you would eat 20k to save an heirloom for a cheating ex, but he found out when you play stupid games you win stupid prizes."
"[Under] normal circumstance you would be," another commenter noted.
"But since he cheated, that means it's on him [that] the wedding is off, even if you're the one that did it officially. And you specifically told him what you were doing with the ring and he had no objections."
Commenters also pointed out that those criticizing her aren't paying her bills.
It's easy for someone to say what OP did is right or wrong when they aren't the ones with $20,000 of debt in the balance, many pointed out.
"Are those 'lot of family members' offering you $20K to pay off the loan?" one commenter asked.
"Because, if not, they should keep their mouths shut."
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