A woman trying to pull off a special surprise for her boyfriend had her plans ruined when, shortly into the trip she'd planned for him, he left.
The boyfriend was the one to share the messy debacle on Reddit, where people were almost on his side. The guy explains that his girlfriend surprised him with a couples' trip for his birthday with some buddies, but things fell apart when they were playing a game. She was asked what originally attracted her to the original poster (OP).
Her answer hurt his feelings, so he slept on the couch. He left early the next morning so as to not ruin the weekend with drama, but his girlfriend says that did anything but.
OP explained that he had no clue about the trip at all.
"Me and my GF of 2 years Kenzie (26F) had plans to get dinner. She came to pick me up from work and her car was packed and my best friend/his wife were in the backseat," he shared.
"To my surprise she planned a whole weekend away to my favorite lake, rented a sick house on the water and invited all our friends. Her sister/husband, my friends/their SO's and a few of Kenzie's friends all arrived Thursday night. It was an awesome and I was stoked for the weekend."
The first night of the trip went well, but night two turned the tides.
"Friday we swam and hung out at the house most of the day. We started drinking and playing games at night. Kenzie's sister broke out this couples game. Basically you pick one person in the relationship that fits the description or it has prompts to engage in debates between couples. Kenzie was pretty drunk by now because she's a lightweight and was drinking most of the night," he explained.
"It was fun till a question of 'What originally attracted you to your SO?' Kenzie blurted out 'he was safe. And I knew he wouldn't cheat or leave me.'"
OP wasn't flattered by this comment.
"I looked at her with a face and was like 'huh.' She then says 'yeah you seemed nice enough and after my abusive ex I wanted a safer option,'" he shared.
"Things got really awkward and her sister quickly read a different card. I was really embarrassed and flustered so I said I had to pee and walked outside."
OP decided to call his friend, who had introduced the two but couldn't make the trip.
"I called Grace to tell her what happened (she was working and couldn't come) and she got upset. I told her I wanted to leave. She said I didn't need to take that and she would be there in the morning to get me," he shared.
"The night died down and Kenzie tried talking to me in front of everyone but I told her we'd talk about it another time. I decided to pack my bags and sleep on the couch. And before anyone woke up I left."
OP left his girlfriend a parting note.
"I texted Kenzie and told her that I didn't want to fight about what happened and ruin everyones trip. So I was going home for the weekend and we could talk whenever she got home," he explained.
Of course, it didn't go over as he'd thought.
OP shut his phone off when everyone on the trip started contacting him.
Overwhelmed by the situation, he wanted to handle things in person and take some time to cool off.
"She blew my phone up all Saturday as did a few of my friends," he shared.
"I decided to go golfing and just turn my phone off. I just didn’t want to talk to anyone."
He cooled off by Sunday, but Kenzie did not.
"When Kenzie showed up at my place Sunday she was fuming. Saying that me leaving early ruined the whole trip. It was all anyone could talk about. And the whole vibe felt off because the birthday boy was gone," he noted.
"[She said] that she felt like a POS and I didn't give her a chance to explain. And she hardly even remembers what she said to begin with. She rented a boat (I love boating) and felt like I disrespected her efforts/money to put together the trip. I told her that I didn't feel like arguing so I went home to avoid the drama."
Commenters felt OP overreacted.
Many felt that OP shouldn't have thrown Kenzie's work on the weekend away over one comment. Many also felt he wasn't understanding how important "safe" is from the context of someone who had previously been abused.
"She had an abusive ex and thought you were a good guy who would treat her well and value her. What's the problem? You were waiting to hear that she's discovered that your the 2020s version of Fabio?" one commenter wrote.
"So, you make a huge scene, likely turn her friends against you (which can do some real long term damage) and they were probably talking the whole weekend about how actually she was wrong about her first impressions and you're actually a shitty guy (I'm not saying you are–but I bet they were)."
"I love the fact that my husband is 'safe.' What I mean by 'safe' is that I would trust him with my life, and I literally have. He's got my back and I've got his. He's got integrity, honesty, and what's important is his word. I know he won't cheat," another commenter wrote.
"'Safe' to me means security. I did not have an abusive ex, but I did have an abusive mother. My husband has shown me that there are people I can trust, so far mostly just him, but still. 'Safe' means that I was able to learn a secure attachment style. I can tell him my secrets, my desires, my concerns, even my past traumas – he'll listen and, most importantly: he won't throw my past traumas in my face as a means to hurt me. Sure, we have areas in our relationship that we need to work on, but that's with any relationship.
"You have zero idea just how important it is for people who have endured abuse to find 'safe' people in their lives. When we say our partners are safe, that is a HUGE compliment. It should be cherished, OP. I'm dead serious."
A few commenters sympathized with OP, but said he needed to fix things.
"You already feel like you were lucky to get her, and she confirmed your worst fears on your birthday. I get why you left, but you need to talk to her now you've cooled down," someone pointed out.
"It's been two years, she may have started with you as a 'safe' option after her volatile ex, but feelings grow. Talk with her, or this will end the relationship."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
