Full disclosure — my name is Karen. I've never asked for a manager, nor would I ever call the cops on anyone due to their race or ethnicity. I wear a mask. And most of all, I believe that positivity and empathy both go a long way. So, it's been a little hard for my name to have suffered some of the abuse it has. People have been called far worse, and I know it's not about me. But, it's a shame knowing that the future of "Karen" may be gone forever.
I knew my name was vintage a few years ago, after a cashier told me it was an "interesting name." Karen was far more of a popular choice back in the day. According to The New York Times, it was the third most popular baby name of 1965. I had so many elementary school teachers named Karen. My parents had friends named Karen. And, that popularity was likely why it was chosen to become a slang term. While I'm not going to let the internet make me hate my own name, it's still a shame that it now carries a stigma. It's a shame when anyone's name turns into a joke.
And, one post on Reddit proves that. A man wondered what he should do when his wife seemed set on the name. And that's because the name was held by someone she loved dearly — her own mother.
"My wife and I recently found out we're having a daughter," Redditor NotKarensDad wrote. "We hadn't really talked about names before but we both agreed that each of us will retain veto power. When we did start discussing names, both of us wanted to name her after our late mothers. Her mom's name was Karen and my mom's name wasn't a meme."
"I told her the baby can take my mom's name as her first name and her mom's name as a middle name, or have an entirely different name, but I can't okay 'Karen' as a first name in any case," he said. "She got offended because she just wants to honor her mother and thinks I have a problem with that. I just don't want to set our daughter up to be bullied throughout her life."
"I told her I'd be fine with whatever first name she picks as long as it doesn't lead to the baby being picked on later in life, but she's pretty insistent on Karen," he noted.
First, let's get one thing straight. While 'Karen' has been somewhat ridiculed in the last few years, it's unlikely to be a meme that holds on forever. Sure, the name is going to have a rough couple of years. But, it's still a classic.
There are plenty of classic names that are making big comebacks. Names like Greta, Beatrice, and Edith are super sweet names for baby girls. Thanks to the royals, Archie is also making a comeback — even though for a while, it was likely off-limits due to the comic book guy who shares his name. Names go through phases, and unless the name is hilariously and unfortunately crass, typically nobody will make a negative comment.
But veto power is really important when it comes to names. The baby's name should be something both parents agree to, since they'll always have to live with it. So if he's not fond of Karen right now, she needs to respect that. There are plenty of similar names that could be worked in instead, like Corrine, Katherine, or Kara.
Luckily, the couple did the best thing they could — they talked about it. And, that's important for all situations involving a new baby. If you don't talk about your emotions and feelings, sometimes resentment may build up. As it turns out, the two came to a great conclusion regarding their new daughter.
"We had a talk about this and why she had such an emotional reaction to my veto," he said in an update. "Ever since her mom died suddenly when she was only fourteen, she's wanted to name her first daughter after her and she didn't really ever consider that the meme might be a potential obstacle. By that point, I'd thought about it for a while and realized that, as many of the comments have pointed out, Karen likely won't be a meme by the time she's old enough to feel its impact."
"So I told her I'll recant my veto but we should still reconsider it because it still has potential complications and we might just come up with a better tribute," he said. "While exchanging ideas, we realized that both our mothers very coincidentally had the exact same middle name, Elizabeth. It seemed completely perfect to both of us so we're going with it."
It's a reminder that sometimes, a healthy brainstorm will lead to even better options. With the name of Elizabeth, they're finding ways to honor both mothers. Plus, Elizabeth is a name that offers a lot of options. She could go by Lizzie, Beth, or even Liza.
Some Redditors felt as if family names, in general, can be difficult. "Veto all family names to save the headache," said Redditor Pancakegoboom. "Currently 6 months pregnant and I learned naming a baby is never picking a name one of you loves. It's picking a name you both hate the least."
Commenter Geekophile2 also had some issues with naming, noting that it's often hard for many couples to find the right moniker.
"My husband and I have 2 kids and work hard to have good communication in our marriage," she wrote. "The first one we were generally pretty compassionate to the other when it came to vetoing names. The 2nd devolved quickly to 'That's horrible, why would you do that to a kid?' Pretty sure our marriage would have ended if we had to name a 3rd."
That said, names really can have significance. So, it's important to do what this couple did and hear each other out. To his wife, Karen was beyond a meme. Karen was a wonderful person who died too young and wasn't able to watch her daughter grow up. To her, that's bigger than anything anyone says on the internet.
And, it's also a good reminder for all of the fellow Karens out there. While it may be hard to feel like you're being dragged, the people who love you know that you're more than a tired stereotype. They're not trying to make fun of you. They're just sharing the term to mean something else. It may not feel fair, but surely everyone has known at least one amazing Karen in real life. And, those positive memories will set you apart from the meme.
A name is important, but it's far more important to focus on raising your child to be kind, caring, and respectful towards others. As parents, it's your job to teach your children never to mock someone for their name. Instead, you need to teach them to be a friend to all — because, that's what'll stick around in people's minds.
