Being diagnosed with cancer is absolutely terrifying, especially if you're young and otherwise healthy.
Kirstin Pretorius went in for her annual checkup with her doctor and expected everything would be totally normal. Her doctor found a lump in Kirstin's breast, and within just two weeks, Kirstin had a cancer diagnosis.
It all happened so fast; by the time Kirstin started to process what was going on, she already needed a mastectomy. After that, she needed chemotherapy treatment.
As soon as Kirstin was diagnosed, she knew she needed to create an Instagram account to document her journey — not just for herself, but for her family abroad.
Now, Kirstin is fully fighting her cancer diagnosis. The 34-year-old mom of two shares pictures and updates with her 8,000 Instagram followers.
Not only are the images and messages heartbreaking, they're also inspiring. Kirstin and her family are so strong, and anyone who has dealt with cancer can relate.
[H/T: Daily Mail]
On July 20, 2017, Kirstin shared the above photo and wrote:
In this picture, I was living with cancer. I just didn’t know it yet. Ironically, this year marked the peak of my ‘health’ and my fitness. I’ve never felt better, stronger, or more comfortable with myself than I did turning 34. My marriage had never been better and my children were thriving. Everything was beautifully bright.
But, despite feeling perfectly well, I went for my routine yearly health check. And that's when they discovered 'the limp'. The lump.
I look at this picture from a simply blissful family holiday celebrating my 10 year wedding anniversary and all I can think is… 'KIRSTIN how can you not know that there are 3 tumours thriving away in your breast? How can you not FEEL the cancer slipping into your lymph nodes? Why don't you FEEL sick? How can you be so stupid?!'
But I didn't know and I didn't feel. If my doctor hadn't examined me, I'd still be blissfully unaware, reaching new fitness goals with my body, eating my futile little anti-oxidant high virtually-vegan wonder food diet… I'd be packing my little plastic-free super food school lunches for my girls, lecturing them on healthy lifestyles. I'd be chemically-free cleaning my home wondering why the whole world doesn't use essential oils. All the while growing and feeding my precious cancer.So check your boobs. Know your body.
Cancer happens. To anyone.
On August 1, Kirstin shaved her head. She wrote:
And it’s done. I can’t believe my dad flew across from the other end of the globe, to arrive just in time to get this shave behind us! Just in time for chemo round one tomorrow. (And my girls handled it like rock stars! ). I’m beyond relieved.
August 2 was the first day of Kirstin's chemotherapy. She wrote:
This danger space zone is actually me having my first chemo! The scalp ‘cooling’ machine (ha more like scalp ‘freeze’ and ‘suffocate’ machine) was the first challenge. Fortunately once they froze my fingers, the hour of frost bite torture took my mind right of my throbbing scalp. Small victories!! Ooh well, anything to prevent these finger nails from falling off! Challenge number 2 was watching the nurse climb into full toxic waste protective gear (goggles and all) just in case some of my poison splashed… But oh no it’s perfectly safe to put it directly into your blood stream!
BUT,
Chemo one is done and dusted. Thank goodness I had my beautiful blankie and pashmina from gorgeous friends to keep me warm all day. and i felt all the love sent from across the world … Thank you!
Two weeks later, Kirstin shared the next step of her cancer journey: trying to feel like herself while dealing with chemo. She wrote:
There’s nothing like a cancer induced buzz cut to force a bit of personal reinvention! It’s been a real challenge to try and feel comfortable and confident when my reflection doesn’t look like ME. I’m a bag of bones, pail and exhausted AND have no hair.
But life carries on and I refuse to hibernate for 6 months. So I've wrapped myself in bright sunshine pashminas, dangled on some enormous earrings, smeared on joyful hot pink lipstick and plastered on the biggest smile I can. 'Out with the old and in with the new'.
A few days later, on August 19, Kirstin had to deal with more hair issues. This time, her daughters got involved. Kirstin explained:
What do you do when your hair is falling out in patches and you’re literally shedding throughout the house despite wasting 5 & 1/2 hours in a frozen torture cap?
Step one – shave your husband's hair in a very classy skew Mohawk so everyone stares at HIM. (Brilliant idea babe!)
Step two – get the whole family to shave your head even shorter and get ready to embrace the #turban . Luckily they're so very on trend right now. (Yes keep telling yourself that Kirstin.)
August 22 marked Kirstin's second round of chemotherapy. She wrote:
Chemo round 2 with my lovely Italian sister! Swapped out the useless #scalpcooling helmet for this fierce tiger turban. More me! Full throttle fight mode ahead.
Although many of Kirstin's posts are positive and inspiring, she does get real about the challenges of cancer and chemotherapy from time to time. On August 23, she wrote:
My head yesterday before I shaved even shorter. Just delightful! It didn’t elegantly drop to the ground like autumn leaves. It ripped away in painful patches to accentuate the face of disease. In addition to the obvious horror of losing yet another symbol of femininity, for the last few days my scalp has been ALIVE. I could literally feel the hair follicles burning and screaming as they died. My scalp was itchy and sensitive as if covered in a raging rash.
And then there's the anxiety. I knew it was going to happen between chemo week 2 and 3, but when it arrived, I was knocked to the ground. I lay awake feeling my hair over and over for more loss. I tossed, dreaming of turbans and wigs and strong winds revealing my scalp. And now I lay openly exposed. Dear stranger, I have cancer. I can no longer hide. This is my new identity. There is no anonymity.
On September 21, after her third round of chemotherapy, Kirstin shared a moving post about what she'd learned from cancer. She wrote:
Apart from the life-changing deep lessons, cancer has also taught me a few brilliant non-essentials:
1) Bright lipstick is always a good idea. Every day. Even just for a dash to the grocery store.
2) Contrary to popular belief, big earrings do actually suit everyone!
3) Every clichè about dogs being our best friends are universal truths of fact. Every one needs the love of a dog.
4) Sometimes my kids need a non sick day off just to be with their mom. For no reason.
5) Say a prayer of gratitude for a healthy memory every day. When it slips, it really sucks.
6) Strelitzias are the business!
7) Avo on toast is sacred.
8) Oncology nurses are the kindest, warmest people on the planet.
9) Text messages really do mean a lot.
10) Kindness is every where.Ok maybe some of those were pretty deep and life changing, especially the one about the bright lipstick. Essential. Every day.
By October 15, Kirstin had finished her last round of chemotherapy. She shared this update with her followers:
I really expected to feel more ‘victorious’ after completing chemo, but honestly I’ve been feeling pretty smashed!
I think the build up of the last few months just smacked me right down and forced me to look reality in the face. It's hard to believe what I've put my body through. Anesthetic, antibiotics, steroids, chemotherapy, sleeping tablets… they've filled my body with pollution and sucked away its vigour. And it's not over. Soon I'll feed it with daily hormones to ensure that everything about me is not a woman in her thirties. Cancer is brutal. It robs in ways we can't always anticipate. It's a fight to stay focused and motivated and put this smile on every day.
But. It's Monday! No better day to start afresh, take a long walk, plan some healing meals and breath in the promise of better, stronger, healthier tomorrows. A happy healthy week to all of you!
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