Parenting is a long series of head-shaking moments. How often have you looked at your kids and wondered how they got to be the way they are? As we watch our kids grow and develop their own personalities, there are a lot of laughable moments. There are also quite a few that are so frustrating, you know you'll never forget them.
The brave parents of Reddit gathered to share the stories of their children's most mind-boggling "weird flex but okay" moments. If you're unfamiliar with the phrase, it's when someone shows off or brags about something that's just odd. We don't always understand why kids are proud of something. We may not get it, but we do know that sometimes you've just got to let your kid feel good, even if it's about something absurd. The strange times that these kids have showed off make for hilarious memories for their moms and dads.
"When my kid was potty training, he was in a phase where he loved temporary tattoos," shared one parent. "We used tattoos as a reward for a successful potty trip. He got so he was covered on both arms, back, and chest."
"We didn't think much of it, living in Seattle, until one summer day we took him to the wading pool. For one of the first times in public, we took his shirt off, and he strode out into the pool with his toddler abs, and Thomas the tank train shorts, looking like he had just finished a hard set of reps at the free weights in the prison yard."
Potty training can be a nightmare for some parents, but these two may have had it the worst. After they introduced the potty, their very regular son didn't have a bowel movement for 10 days! Luckily, they met with a brainy doctor who had a hunch.
"He told us that he thought that the potty training was causing him to hold his bowel movements. And that when he was ready to be potty trained, he would let us know. Skeptical, but willing to give it a shot, instead of the hospital we went back home," shared the parent.
"We made a big show of putting the potty chair up and told him that if he pooped, he could have any toy in Target (we were desperate!) and no more potty training. 20 minutes later he took the biggest [expletive] of his little life, and we took our weary but relieved [expletive] to Target to buy him his dream toy. A Hotwheel's Carwash. Best $29.99 we ever spent. 3 months later he wakes up, says 'I want to go potty like Daddy' and has been potty trained ever since."
"While leaving a family gathering, my cousin asked my little boy for a fist bump," explained another parent. "My child refused, the cousin said 'come on, why no fist bump?' My kid, 5 at the time, looks him straight in the eye and says 'I don't want to break every bone in your arm.'"
"My daughter (3) can poop in the back yard without anyone knowing," the parent revealed. "I picked it up for weeks wondering why the dog's poop looked so weird. I looked out of the sliding glass door one day while my girls were playing. I saw my 3-year-old pooping in the middle of the yard. Her older sister (5) sprayed her with the water house as soon as the log hit the ground. It was a spectacular scene, and I will never let them forget it."
When this 5-year-old woke up with a sore throat, he and his mom had two very different ideas of where it came from. After she pointed out he had a cold, he provided his own theory:
“Him, solemnly: no, I think I’m a man now.”
This poster's 5-year-old is a major car fanatic who really knows his stuff. "He’s driving his go-kart in the driveway and our neighbors yell over, 'wow You’re amazing kiddo!' And kid yells back dead serious, 'I know. I’m a better driver than most of the grownups I know.'"
"My 8-year-old son's doctor was trying to make him comfortable during an EKG by telling him he had to leave his ear with the doctor. They went back and forth for a while and finally, the doctor said he would trade him the ear for a lollipop," the parent recalled.
"My son said he would not give up his ear but wanted the lollipop. The doctor said, 'What! That is not a fair trade. What will you give me for the lollipop?' My son answered dead serious, 'I get the lollipop and you get my respect.'"
Teaching your kids about Amber Alerts is very serious, but this situation took an unexpected turn.
"Had an Amber Alert hit my phone one night while my then 6yo was playing a game on it. She asks what that was and I explained it’s a message that gets sent out [if] a kid gets kidnapped," the parent recalled.
"She looks at it again and sees it’s for a town over two hours from where we live. She then asks me why they sent to if it’s so far away. I said 'Because they want everyone to look and find the kid, wouldn’t you want everyone to look if you got kidnapped? They want to find the kid so they don’t get killed.' She leans over close to my ear and whispers 'I’m very difficult to kill.'"
“My son was in the tub and asked exactly how old he was,” one parent wrote in.
“Ummmmm…about 4 years, 10 months, and 4 days,” the parent replied.
“After a few moments of deep thought, I heard him say quietly and reverently to himself, ‘…and I haven’t been bit by a single wild animal.'”
That’s a hard one to keep a straight face through!
"When my son was about 5 we went to visit relatives in the Washington, DC area. We were on the Metro when my son eyed a very pretty professional young woman," this parent recalled.
"'I've got a lot of blocks,' he told her. 'If you come to my room I'll show you.' Then he made motorcycle noises for about 10 seconds."
"My wife brought my 3-year-old son to my job site since he really wanted to 'drive' the excavator. So my uncle, who operates the excavator, lets him dig some holes and play around while sitting on my uncle's lap," this parent began.
"He then comes up to me and says, 'Daddy I want to drive the excavator with you.' I told him I don’t know how too, you have to go with your uncle. His reply, 'it’s okay daddy I’ll teach you,' with the biggest smirk on his face."
"My son, who was 4 or 5 at the time, walked into the kitchen and said to my wife, 'give me my usual, but put it in a real glass'" one parent said.
"She's like, 'what, your milk?' It was then we realized we had to reign in the iPad and Curse of Monkey Island."
"My son started 2nd grade this week. A couple of weeks ago the school sent out postcards with the date and time of the 'open house' and his teacher's name," began another Reddit user.
"I asked him if he was excited to be in Mrs. So-and-so's class, and he said yes, but he's also worried. I asked what he was worried about and he said, 'what if she falls in love with me and wants to marry me?' I laughed and reassured him that he need not worry since she's already married."
School admissions interviews can be nerve-racking for a parent. Luckily, this kid broke that tension.
"They did a series of admission tests and the final test was an interview with the principal. She asked him a few pretty basic questions, one of which was to spell his name," the parent recalled.
"He looked at her puzzled and got up to leave. Then he turned to me and said 'I don’t want to go to this school, the principal can’t even spell my name!' Started walking out like the little Boss he was."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
