Lori Alexander, who runs a verrrry intensely religious blog called The Transformed Wife, is a lover of Jesus with a massive social media platform. And that's all well and good, and I'd be about to say more power to her on her Jesus journey. HOWEVER. A lot of what Lori has to say to her 16.2K followers on Instagram alone is astoundingly gross. It's also astoundingly disrespectful to women, even though she also is one.
Lori's comments are so unbelievably shocking that you might think you're living in 1923, not 2023. I assure you, you aren't. But keep reading, because I promise you're still gonna wonder in just a quick sec.
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In a 2021 social media post, Lori told men to "run away fast" from women who love their jobs. Yes, you read that right. But HOLY HOLY HOLY HELL. Who actually thinks statements like that are in any way acceptable? What kind of alternate universe am I actually in?
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT AND ALSO WHY?
As I write this, my jaw is literally on the floor. No. That's a lie. In fact, the opposite is true. I'm grinding my teeth pretty hard. This kind of crap is enraging. But you be the judge as to whether or not it's irresponsible or deranged to tell men that women with their own jobs (or lives or interests or passions!!!) is bad.
The full text of The Transformed Wife's post reads: "Teach your sons NOT to marry a feminist. If her career is more important than marriage and moving where her husband needs to live for his job, then she's a feminist. He needs to run away fast!"
If you're asking yourself, "Is this real life?" like that kid on the laughing gas, you are most definitely not alone.
Needless to say, there are many, many, many more horrifically disrespectful and detrimental to all human kind type posts on Lori's very horrific and disrespectful social media account. But, for me, this one really sums up how The Transformed Wife feels about women. That is, that they don't really matter. Or at least their ambitions don't, which is essentially the same thing.
I really just … cannot with this. Because here is the real truth: Every woman has different ambitions. And while it's clear that Lori really values being a wife and a homemaker, why IN GOD'S NAME is she telling women that they all should have the same values as she does if they want to find a man? Why is she telling men that it isn't safe to choose a wife who values working outside of the home? It makes no practical sense whatsoever.
It's not only gross AF, it's inaccurate because people fall in love with people who are content with themselves and their lives. They don't fall in love with miserable people. So if you're forcing yourself into the role of a homemaker because you think that's what all good women are supposed to do, you're going to be miserable in life AND in love.
Men and women alike fall in love with people who know themselves — not people who are just trying to please someone else. No joke, that simply doesn't work, and it leads to unhappiness, anger, and resentment. But don't ask me! Seriously, just about any therapist would back me up on this. You have to do what serves your own soul; otherwise, you're gonna be miserable with or without a man.
Now, I wouldn't expect Lori to be an expert on feminism. I really wouldn't, and I don't fault her for not knowing what the hell she is talking about there. But it seems like she's claiming to be some kind of marriage expert, and holy CRAP, she also doesn't seem to really know anything about marriage! Doing absolutely everything in your power to please a man, even if those things go against your own wants and needs, is not partnership. It just isn't! While marriage is absolutely work, that work needs to go both ways. There also needs to be respect for what makes both partners happy. Not just THE MAN THE MAN THE MAN.
Being married for a long-ass time is cool and all. I guess. I mean, it's cool if that marriage is happy and there's a genuine give and take. But just being married for decade after decade is not a badge of honor on its own. That's one of the other misguided ideas that Lori pushes on her page. And ya know what, ladies? It's total BS.
Sadly, a lot of people are reading The Transformed Wife like it's the word of God or something. And it's not. I mean, it's really, really not. Unless God hates women as much as Lori does.
