Back when I was in college, people were always going on trips. They'd go abroad with their families or head to spring break on a whim. I never went because, well, I was a college student who made weekend babysitting money that just barely paid for my beer, I mean groceries. I was lucky enough to have a family who paid my college tuition, minus taking out some hefty loans, but they couldn't afford to send me on vacations with my friends, and I certainly didn't expect them to.
At just a few months short of 35, I'm not very well traveled, however. In fact, I haven't really been much of anywhere at all because I've never exactly had the means. I don't take vacations with friends or boyfriends. Typically, I take one short vacation a year, and that involves driving three hours with my two kids to go to our local beach, the one I've been going to since I was a kid. It's always fun in the way that vacationing with kids is fun. As in, once you accept the stress, the packing, the expense, the realizing that no matter what vacay fantasies you've been having about said trip for months, you're likely going to end up doing exactly what the kids want to do for a few days and not really much of anything that you want to do — ya know, once you realize all that, sometimes there's room left over for a little fun.
Still, family trips can leave a bit to be desired. So this year, I'm determined to take a trip, alone, for the first time in my life. Even if it's just for a couple of days (which it will be), it will absolutely be worth it.
Here's why I think it's so important.
It will allow me to slow down.
Life moves really fast these days. Sometimes, I worry that if I don't slow down, I'm going to miss it. It seems like just a month or so ago that my oldest child turned 9. Then … BOOM. Last week, she turned 10. Just like that, double digits.
Not to age myself completely, but like everyone says, when you get older and get busy, life speeds up. I think a big reason why it seems to move so quickly, though, is because we don't get enough downtime to just enjoy ourselves. Taking a vacation with only myself will be the perfect opportunity to just be.
It will allow me to embrace my independence.
One of the best/worst things about being a single parent is that I have to be pretty self-sufficient. I'm learning to love it, though sometimes it can admittedly be tough to not have someone to help out with bills, child care, etc. Still, taking a solo vacation seems like a great way to embrace that independence and thrive in it. While I sometimes crave having a partner, I also have learned to really like doing things on my own. A solo vacay will just let me have a bit more time to be by myself than I'm used to, and I think it's a good exercise in getting even more comfortable on my own.
I'll be able to do exactly what I want.
Let's face it: When you're a mom, doing exactly what you want is kind of unheard of. Having even two or three days to wake up when I want, exercise when I want, eat wherever I want, and do, well, whatever else I want seems like some kind of fantasy life. I've been a mom for over a decade now, and honestly, I want to experience a little taste of that freedom.
It will allow me to miss my kids.
The longest I go without seeing my kids is about 24 hours when they go to their dad's house. I'm generally so busy during that time, cleaning up the house, catching up on work, maybe spending a few hours with friends (if I'm lucky) that I don't have a whole lot of time to actually miss them. Having the opportunity to actually miss my kids for a couple of days might serve our relationship for the better! When I come home, I'll be refreshed and genuinely excited to see them, and that's a great feeling to have as a mom.
It's good for my kids to see me take care of me.
One thing about taking care of yourself is that it isn't good for just you. It's good for your kids, too. It's all too rare that my children see me doing things that are for me and no one else. Taking a trip alone will give me the opportunity to explain why I think it's important — because taking care of myself is important, too. I'd love my kids to have a better understanding of that, especially if they decide to be parents themselves one day.
The opportunity simply doesn't come around that often.
Going away at all, let alone going away without my kids, is an opportunity that simply doesn't come around very often. It requires planning, saving, finding care for the kids, and so on. It's definitely going to take some effort, but the truth is, if I don't take the opportunity soon (or MAKE the opportunity), then I might never do it.
It's important for my well-being.
Vacations are important for well-being. It's true. Having the opportunity to relax can decrease stress hormones and help you reset. But research shows that most workers don't even use their vacation days for a variety of reasons, mainly financial. This year, I'm trying to make a big effort to put my health first, and having the chance to unwind and reset is probably one of the biggest components to that, because it's also one of the hardest things to accomplish.
I'll always remember it.
Even though whatever trip I end up taking might be only a couple of days or so, and of course will come with a cost as well as planning care for my kids while I'm gone, I think it will be totally worth it. The thing is, when you plan a trip, you don't just go for the actual experience of it. You go for the memories, too.
It might be a little scary to travel alone. Mostly, I worry a bit about getting lonely. But being alone also allows you to do things you might not do. After all, you don't want to sit around bored the whole time. I know wherever my trip takes me and whatever I do while I'm there, I'll always remember it. And those memories are worth their weight in gold.
