Sperm Donor Doesn’t Reveal He Received Growth Hormones As A Kid Until It Becomes An Issue

The donor begins by explaining that his parents are both pretty small, and as a child he was tiny, too:

"My parents are both tiny (mom is like 4’10” and dad is like 5’4”), and I was in something like the 1st percentile for height as a kid, so my parents decided to give me growth hormone treatment. I ended up being average male height as an adult (5’10”)."

He offered up that information for context for his current dilemma:

"I donated sperm to an acquaintance a few years ago. I am not at all involved in her or her son's life, besides receiving health updates every few months."

It seems that the baby conceived is also pretty tiny, which surprised his parents:

"In the last update, she and her spouse reported that their son is very small for his age (3rd percentile for height at 5 years old), and that their pediatrician said that if he does not see a growth spurt within a couple years, growth hormone treatment should be something to consider. The parents are surprised at this, because the mom is well above average height for women (I would estimate she is around 5'8")."

The donor replied and tried to explain that there was nothing to worry about:

"I wrote them back saying there is nothing to be concerned about because I had growth hormone treatment as a kid, so their child’s height is in line with my genetics. I told them it worked well for me, so it is definitely something I endorse if they are worried about their child being undersized."

Understandably, the baby's parents are pretty upset:

"The parents are both furious at me for not disclosing this beforehand, and said they would not have asked me to donate if they had known this ahead of time."

The parents even want him to pay for the treatments, but the man says he was never asked to reveal this information and doesn't think he should have to:

"I was never asked this in the fertility clinic’s [lengthy] screening process, and it was honestly something I never even thought to bring up. The parents are insisting I pay for the rather expensive hormone treatment if they decide to go that route."

Instead, he's decided to ask Reddit two questions: Was it wrong that he didn't disclose this information? And should he be held financially responsible for the growth hormone treatments?

Reddit was definitely not pleased with the guy's perspective. One person pointed out the hypocrisy that's on display:

"So hormone treatment was fine for you OP [original poster] but not for the child that you created because it's too expensive? This is your fault for lying. Lying by omission is still lying."

Many people pointed out that even if he wasn't specifically asked about growth hormones, donors are required to disclose their medical history … which he clearly didn't do. There may even be precedent that could work against him:

"I think there was even a Georgia case recently where the sperm donor lied about his health and the court ruled in favor of the couple who received the sperm. I think OP lied by omission and clearly it's a pretty serious offense."

Part of the problem is that in the United States, this treatment isn't cheap. Many people can understand why the parents are upset about something that they should have known was a possibility from the beginning. According to one commenter:

"Really fun fact: In America, it’s estimated to cost around $52k per inch for the steroids the child will end up needing."

A few commenters tried to say the parents were being discriminatory or even ableist, but most people weren't buying it. If this were their biological child facing a genetic condition, yes. But they likely selected a donor in part based on his height. Plus, growth hormone deficiency can lead to a lot of additional medical concerns. As one commenter noted:

"Growth hormone deficiency definitely IS technically a medical condition. Being short is just the obvious visible symptom that usually gets the condition diagnosed in childhood so it can be treated. Other complications of the condition include osteoporosis, muscle weakness, heart problems and insulin resistance."