I was always told that the most important thing to share with your family is love — and since there is no right way to give or receive love, it can come in many different forms.
AJ Kearns always knew he wanted to be a dad. For him, it was perfectly instinctual. It didn't matter that he was born a woman; ever since he started his gender transition six years ago, he wanted to become a family man.
But he and his partner, Zu, faced some daunting challenges. After she experienced a very complicated pregnancy and birth, it was clear that Zu should not carry their second child…
If they wanted to expand their family, Kearns would have to halt his transitioning process, and conceive the baby himself. This decision was in no way easy.
But, propelled by his desire to be the best father he can be, Kearns not only successfully delivered the family's new baby, but he has also shown that our children are worth any kind of sacrifice.
The family spoke with Australia's ABC TV about what they've been through. Their story will be broadcasted on the network's Australian Story series on August 10.
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AJ Kearns, 41, was born a woman named Vicki-Anne. Six years ago, he started transitioning to become a man and start a family. But Zu, Kearns' partner, experienced a very complicated and difficult birth with their son Jasper, now six.
Because of this, Kearns decided to do something very courageous. When the couple decided to have another child, Kearns made the difficult decision to halt his transitioning process, and bear the child himself.
The couple welcomed a baby girl, Luka, three years ago. "If I was to pick somebody to be the father of my children, AJ is definitely exactly what I would have ordered," said White. "He is committed, he's devoted, he's very easy to work with."
Kearns did struggle during his pregnancy. According to White, he had a strong sense of dysphoria — a state of dissatisfaction, anxiety, or melancholy — because he had to come to terms with the changes of a female body.
But in the end, Kearns saw the experience as a blessing. "I feel privileged to create a life. Anyone that gives birth to a person will be a witness to the fact that it's a miracle," he told ABC.
"Becoming a father was a very instinctual thing. I just felt completely at ease with it from the very beginning. I definitely would consider myself a family man. It's my highest priority out of everything," he said.
Dr. Fintan Harte, head psychiatrist at the Monash Gender Dysphoria Clinic in Melbourne, said that it's his first time in over his 30 years of practice that he's met a "trans-identified male" who conceived a child.
Both Kearns and White have been honest with their children about how they were conceived. "I don't know that they understand it completely, but they do understand which tummy they came from. They don't really consider that there's any difference — there's
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