There's something very refreshing about a good neighborhood. Personally, I love the ability to get to know the people I'm living near. I'd gladly give a neighbor a cup of sugar or an egg if in need. Having grown up in a neighborhood filled with friends, it's an added comfort.
However, not all neighbors have this approach. And a woman on Reddit posted about how her neighbors have really crossed a line, especially when it comes to her husband.
She quickly realized that her husband was the only man on her street. "There's a few single mother houses, 2 houses of all-female roommates, one single woman, and even a lesbian couple," she wrote. "I normally wouldn't care or even take note of this, but since March, it's like we're getting constant calls and texts. The number we gave when we moved in two years ago (just renewed last January) was my number. I am FLOODED with requests for basic handyman stuff like changing light bulbs, car problems, and dealing with toilets."
Stereotypically, many women see these tasks as a man's job. Even though women are capable of handling plumbing and auto repair, sometimes they like to pass that work onto a guy. While many guys like to help whenever possible, it can still be seen as somewhat of a pain.
However, that wasn't this wife's big problem. The issue is, her neighbors almost treat her as if she's invisible.
"With me being furloughed, he's the only one working and is less interested in extra stuff, but the tasks do only take about 5-20 minutes on average, which I know because my husband makes me go with him because they make him uncomfortable," she writes. At the very least, it's good to know that her husband understands how awkward these requests can be. But he's still willing to help.
Even though she's right there, these neighborhood women often make jokes at her expense. "These women are obsessed with him on a personal level," she explained. "They openly flirt with him and literally offer themselves up if he's 'ever tired of [me]' or 'wants something different'. I have even gotten pictures of boobs from neighbors!" It's a big move to send naked photos to the wife of the man you have a crush on.
The reason why the wife gets these texts? She's the one who gave out her number when the neighbors were trying to be friendly. Technically, it was supposed to be used for emergencies only. So she's the one who's fielding all of these unpaid requests. She also has no clue where all of the adoration is coming from. While she loves her husband very much, she admits he's not a model. "While I love my husband and am attracted to him, he's not like a male model or anything so I really don't understand why these women are fawning over him like this," she said.
Even stranger, one mom pushed the limits and tried to get him to play a fatherly role for her child. "One of the single moms has even asked him to come over and discipline one of her children, which is an absolute nope," the original poster (OP) wrote. It's a tough situation to be in, especially after lines have been crossed.
To add to the awkwardness, her husband is so embarrassed about confronting the ladies that he asked OP to take control. "He's not comfortable with any of this and has asked me to intervene," she wrote. "I've tried talking to these women more casually to no avail. I set up a zoom for just us ladies to try to get us on the same page. They told me that since it's now impossible for any of them to find anyone anymore (2020), I needed to share my husband and be less selfish in regards to household maintenance requests."
While her husband can openly refuse to take on these requests, it's not a good feeling to be the outcast of the neighborhood. But at the same time, OP shouldn't feel bullied into making her husband go out there and change light bulbs. "They also said that it was just 'harmless flirting' because they're all 'frustrated* and can't date' and that I wouldn't even be threatened by it if I was 'giving him kids,'" she continued.
"I've talked to my own family about this and while they say that the women should be less forward, I should be more understanding about how hard it is for a woman to be alone because my own mother was alone," she explained. But, in all honesty, her husband owes these neighbors nothing — especially after they disrespected her the way they did.
As expected, Reddit had some pretty intriguing comments surrounding this cumbersome situation. Most people agreed that women these days shouldn't be helpless. It's nice to get help when needed, but when they're demanding help, they can very easily look online and try to find solutions to solve their problems themselves.
"I can't even begin to tell you all the things I've learned on YouTube," writes doubledreams. "It's amazing! You text every last one of them and say 'hello, effective immediately, my husband is no longer available for home maintenance requests' then the next time they text you, send them a related YouTube video."
Some Redditors weren't even that kind. "Don't even bother [sending] the videos. Just block them. Don't speak to them again," suggested shinyagamik. Even though some asked if it'd be strange being that they all live on the same block, it seems like many Redditors were repulsed by the way the neighbors spoke to OP and her husband.
Redditor WoodlandofWeir felt as if her husband should take part of the blame. "Why are you setting up a zoom call for all these women?" the commenter asked. "Why are you filtering their messages and answering their calls? No wonder these women don't stop doing what they're doing if it's you who tells them to stop and not your husband. He really needs to stand up for himself and say no to these women."
And that in itself is a good move. The task of setting boundaries isn't easy for either of them, but since he's agreeing to do the work and help his neighbors, he should also figure out how to stick up for himself. By telling the women that these actions aren't appreciated, he'd be telling them directly that he's uncomfortable. From there, the requests might end.
It's important to remember that nobody owes anyone their time. Just because OP's husband is a man doesn't mean he's required to be the unpaid handyman for the entire neighborhood. And he should also cut the brakes on these arrangements if he's fully aware of how these women are treating his wife. He needs to make it clear that he's happily married and not interested in crossing any lines.
Creating boundaries in a relationship is vital if you want it to succeed. While it's incredible that OP's husband wants her to know that he's not partaking in any of these scandalous offers, he also needs to stand up for himself and tell these neighbors that their nude photos and propositions are out of line. If the two don't stand up for themselves, this type of harassment may never stop.
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