We have disputes with our siblings all the time, right? But what happens when those disagreements include our siblings' kids? Where do you draw the line? One aunt took to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong.
This aunt feels a way about her sister's parenting style.
The original poster, SofiaNParkersBadAunt, doesn't agree with the parenting style that her sister, Angel, uses. OP shares that Angel claims to use "hands-off parenting" with her niece and nephew. "In actuality, Angel is entirely permissive and refuses to discipline them. She expects other adults to step in when Sofia and Parker’s behavior is getting out of hand," OP wrote.
The aunt makes a request.
For this reason, OP requested that her sister get a babysitter if she wanted to attend her 27th birthday dinner. "I love Sofia and Parker as their aunt. And at the same time, I want a peaceful evening to celebrate my birthday instead of dealing with Sofia and Parker’s behavior, because I know Angel isn’t going to discipline them herself."
The sister makes a shot on Facebook.
Initially, OP shared that Angel seemed to be understanding of the request. That is, until Angel made a status on Facebook accusing her sister of hating Sofia and Parker, and also trying to punish her by only allowing their other sister to bring her kid, Megan — who is actually 17.
Relatives call OP out.
"Several of our relatives and mutual acquaintances called me out and said I was an [expletive] and was excluding a 10 and 7-year-old," OP shared. She then responded to those relatives by sharing two videos of her niece and nephew misbehaving while her sister did nothing. "The first video was a recording taken by Megan, where Sofia and Parker were throwing tantrums and yelling at her. Megan was trying to calm Sofia and Parker down while Angel was on her tablet ignoring the situation. The other video was one that Angel took. Sofia and Parker were yelling, throwing toys at each other, and Parker even called his sister a bad word. Angel was laughing as if it were funny and was again doing nothing to discipline Sofia or Parker."
OP stands her ground.
Alongside the videos, OP wrote that she loved her niece and nephew but wanted a peaceful evening to enjoy her birthday. She shared that her sister ended up not attending the birthday dinner at all.
OP is shamed by her own family.
The aunt went on to share that her parents told her she was wrong for sharing the videos, seeing as how everyone's kids have acted up. They told her that she did nothing but embarrass her sister. "They also said I could have compromised by having a 'Nobody under 18' rule for my birthday dinner. Megan would not be able to attend but then Sofia and Parker wouldn’t feel excluded. I do not see how that would be fair to myself or Megan. AITA For not wanting to make compromises for my birthday dinner?"
Reddit users side with the aunt.
Reddit users sided with OP. One person commented, "Angel wasn't worried about embarrassing you or setting you up to get harassed by relatives, so I don't see why you should be worried about her feelings when you're simply defending yourself from her false accusations and crap parenting. NTA."
Another person commented, "NTA. Angel made your issues public and tried to turn your family and friends against you. You posting those videos was in self defense of your own character. Your patents taking her side tells me that she’s the Golden Child. If they have such an issue with you posting those videos, why didn’t they take issue with her 'calling you out' ?' I’d definitely press them about why they think it’s okay for her to do what she did and not expect you to stand up for yourself."
But some users had concerns.
Some users were concerned about the fact that the aunt shared videos of kids who weren't hers without consent. "Soft ESH. I don’t love that you shared the videos, shaming the kids instead of the bad parent. Honestly, after your sister tried to play the victim and make you the bad guy, I would have just responded in the comments and offered to text videos to family members to explain why," someone commented.
OP then added an edit to her post, explaining that the videos she shared had already been posted on Angel's and Megan's social media, and she simply linked those videos. "No strangers will be able to view the videos from my and Angel's Facebook accounts," she added, noting that their accounts were private.
In the end, users offered a quick solution.
While most users agreed that the aunt was not in the wrong, they did offer a solution that could have avoided the entire problem, sharing that she could have set a 16-and-up rule that would have automatically excluded the children from being able to attend. What do you think?
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