Aunt Wonders If She Should Use Limited Vacation Days To See Newborn Nibling

The brother made the decision to move far away from his family, his sister explained. “My brother hates my parents and moved an 8 hour flight away to a rural place on the other side of the county,” she began. “He's a teacher in a rural school and gets nearly 16 weeks paid leave off per year and expects me to spend $2000 on flights and $2000-$3000 on accommodation to see his newborn. My issue is that I don't get much time off. In a year I'm lucky to get maybe 4 weeks off MAX but we rarely get to take it in one chunk, it's more like a week off here, and maybe 2 weeks off there.”

The sister and new aunt also has her own life. "I'm also in a relationship and my partner lives in another country as he's taking care of his mum," she continued. "This is probably going to be the case for a few more years as his sister is studying abroad. Because of this I usually travel to his country and stay with him a few weeks a year."

The aunt has tried to compromise but the brother isn’t willing to bend. “Apparently I'm an AH because I don't want to take time off work and spend money I don't have to see my brothers newborn who isn't even going to remember me,” she explained. “I've pointed out that he's more than welcome to come see the whole family here and he'd have free accommodation at my sisters or we could meet half way somewhere nice for a vacation, but I'm not willing to travel to the middle of nowhere just to see a baby and pay an insane amount to do so, it's not only the cost but it means I won't get to see my partner if I'm using the time to travel to see my brother instead.”

This issue has greatly impacted the brother and sister’s relationship. “It's gotten to the point I've stopped talking to him because every time he calls he's rude and brings up that I've made no effort to see his child and apparently it's all my fault,” she explained. “I'm planning on seeing my partner in a few months and I know if he finds out from family, he'll lay into me and it's making me feel guilty but at the same time I'm an adult and I have my own life and he hasn't made any effort on his end. I mean, he's even said I'd have to pay for my own accommodation to see him.”

The new aunt ends her post by asking is she in the wrong here.

Reddit took the side’s aunt. Many pointed out that the brother did this to himself. “Moving a long distance away from your place of origin means that sometimes you don't get to share important milestones with your family (at least not in person),” one user mused. “that's just an inevitable risk that comes with that sort of arrangement.”

Others pointed out that the brother should be open to creative ways to stay in touch with his family.

One user noted: “Ya'll can't FaceTime? Planes fly both ways. When the baby gets a little older, maybe he will feel better about traveling.”

There were some users on the site that pointed out that the brother isn’t completely wrong either. It is hard to travel with a newborn.

“If you don't want to or cannot afford the travel to meet your new niece or nephew right away that's reasonable and your brother needs to accept that,” one user wrote. “But also it's unreasonable to expect someone to put a newborn, or really even a toddler, on a plane and travel a long distance. That's not good for the baby or anyone else. So you need to accept your brother isn't going to be coming to visit you any time soon.”

At the end of the day, this sister and aunt is going to have to search her heart and decide what is best for her. She then needs to communicate it kindly but firmly to her brother. It is her life and she gets to decide what she prioritizes. The majority of Reddit users think she is doing just fine.