Planning the perfect wedding is a difficult task in which you have to not only please yourself but also your extended family and friends. You have to balance being a gracious host and your own desires.
One bride in the throes of planning her wedding decided she was not going to serve alcohol at the event, only water. When she heard her family’s reaction to this, she began to second-guess herself. She decided to take to Reddit to have outsiders weigh in. Most people agreed it was totally OK to have a dry wedding, but to serve only water made her a substandard host.
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Once upon a time . . .
The bride dives right in to explain herself: “Ok so basically my husband and I are getting married later this year. Each of our sides of the family are fairly big. It will be around 100-150 people total. My husband and I are paying for this all ourselves, as well as my grandma who said she doesn't care one way or the other on this issue. She just loves weddings. We have a lot of kids in our family so we decided against making it child-free but we did decide to make it dry. So there will be no alcohol of any kind at our wedding. Honestly, this doesn't have anything to do with there being kids there but due to the fact that my fiancé and I don't drink. Nothing against people who do, it's just not for us and we don't want to.”
They are *really* limiting the beverage options.
“On top of that, we only really drink water,” she continues. “We rarely, if ever, drink soda so most of the time it's only water with the occasional juice and milk. We don't even drink coffee. So obviously the food (which is a part my grandma is not paying for) is going to be expensive for that many people. We are having our wedding catered so everyone will have a good choice of food to choose from but to drink only water will be provided. We don't want to have to pay for alcohol or soda, it is just an large added expense when we can just do filtered water for a MUCH cheaper cost.”
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Her family is not pleased.
Her family was not having this. “Well, when family and friends found out being got angry,” she went on to say. “Some didn't really care but some are really upset about it. Saying that I can just have an open bar so I don't have to pay for drinks (we could, but still have to pay for the bartender and we just really don't want to bother with alcohol there). Or we should at least have soda because how can we expect everyone to drink ONLY water? The kids will be upset. The wedding will be boring. That this is not how weddings work. Etc.”
This surprised the bride.
Their reaction surprised the bride: “I didn't think this would be a problem! It's only water. I mean, don't most people drink water everyday anyway? Should we pay the extra to have soda to make the family happy.”
The bride is also a host.
The majority of people on the site agreed that the bride was in the wrong here. A wedding is of course the bride’s day, but she is also hosting her family and friends.
“I know that technically you could be in the right, but here’s the thing about weddings, the marriage ceremony is for you and your fiancé. The wedding is for everyone you’ve invited, it’s an event you’re hosting, and not providing any drinks other than water makes you a bad host/hostess,” explained one user.
It's a celebration.
Everyone on the site was down for a dry wedding. What they were not OK with was one with only water as an option for a beverage.
“Most people don't care wether or not it's a dry wedding. However, only serving water is tacky and cheap. People are making the effort, bringing gifts, it's a CELEBRATION. There is nothing fun about water,” wrote one user.
You don't have to have a big wedding.
Another user reminded the bride that she does not have to have a wedding at all: “You are not obligated to have a wedding or reception. You can marry in court. You are not obligated to have alcohol at your reception. But as a host, aren't you embarrassed to be serving only tap water to the guests? Like no hot water for tea, no coffee, no lemonade? I just don't understand this driving need to have a big party that you can't afford only to scrimp on really fundamental things.”
What about tea and coffee?
Another user offered some useful advice. “Even just tea and coffee. They aren't that expensive and would satisfy most people,” the user wrote. It could be a good compromise.
How about just desserts?
Another user also offers some sage advice: “If you can’t afford food + soft drinks/juice/tea, either your food is too much or your guest list too large. People would be more accepting of a dessert + non alcoholic drinks reception than this.”
The math doesn't add up.
One user crunched some numbers. “If a 2 liter bottle serves 3, we're talking 50 bottles. A $4 per, that's what, $200? Would that break the bank? I suspect the bride's bouquet costs more,” the user wrote.
The bottom line from Reddit users is that the bride needs to serve something else besides just water.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
