Planning a wedding can be both fun and stressful. One thing a lot of couples have to decide early is how many people they want to invite to the wedding.
Most couples plan to invite their close friends and family, and typically partners of family and friends are also invited — especially partners who have been part of the family for a long time.
One man recently shared on Reddit that his sister refused to invite his girlfriend of 11 years to her wedding, despite having known for her the entire time. Now the man doesn't want to attend.
He and his girlfriend are very serious.
He writes, "My sister, 36, is getting married on September 3rd. She has known her fiancé for 3 years.
"My girlfriend, 38, and I ,44, have been together for almost 11 years. We have been living together for 8 years and we’re expecting although it’s too early so we haven’t told anyone yet."
His sister says his girlfriend isn't 'family.'
He goes on, "My sister made it clear that she wanted an intimate wedding (60 guests) and since my gf isn’t wife she didn’t consider her family. My first reaction was that it’s fine since its her wedding so I didn’t RSPV. She called me to ask why I didn’t and tbh I was confused but it turned out she wanted me in the wedding but not my gf."
His sister is super mad.
"I told her to forget about it and she was crying and raging since I’m her only brother and since dad isn’t in the picture I’m supposed to be the one giving her away. I said a firm no (even if my gf said she didn’t mind that)."
His family doesn't agree with him.
"Yesterday she texted me and my gf that its FINE we could come both of us. My gf looked so sad but she said it’s up to me. So I texted back that we’re not coming," the original poster (OP) explains.
"Now every family member call me or text me to tell me I’m an AH for breaking my little sister’s heart. I texted my uncle who is invited to the wedding to walk my sister and he was glad to do it. Still everyone is livid."
People smell ... drama.
One commenter mused, "Oh there has to be beef there. But since they aren’t legally married, saying 'close family only!' purposely excludes her since that was how the bride designed it, but she can use that as an excuse to validate that she isn’t a bad person by not inviting op’s partner of 11 years. Like she’s known OP’s partner for at least most of those 11 years, so like…. Why wouldn’t partner be invited?"
A lot of people believe 11 years is more than enough time to be family.
A second commenter noted, "I was in a committed relationship for 14 yrs but not married. But you can bet I was family to my bfs family. I was a dil, a sil, and a grandma to my bfs family and still am even though we broke up in 2014."
There's a final detail that really makes this awful.
The man then added a crucial detail: He's paying for the wedding. He said, "I’m paying the wedding. Sister and her fiancé can’t afford a wedding because they’re buying a house."
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