Most of us have been there at one point or another. You’ve been fighting off feelings of depression or intense anxiety for weeks, or maybe even months, and it’s finally come to a point where you need to switch something up and talk to your partner about it.
That’s not always an easy feat for some individuals, because as much as the stigma around mental health has been squashed over the years, it can still feel quite stressful to open our mouths and talk about it with someone so close to us.
Maybe we’re afraid of being judged or not properly heard, but whatever the reason, there can be a productive way to go about having a conversation about your mental health when you’ve been having a rough go of it.
So let’s discuss four constructive ways to discuss your mental health with your partner when you’re struggling.
1. Be sure you don’t pick an intense moment to discuss things.
It might feel like the exact right time to want to bring things up when you’re feeling absolutely spent and like you’re about to lose it, but it can really help in making your case if you wait until a less-hectic moment to speak to your partner.
Think about those times when your kids just won’t stop when you’re in the middle of driving through heavy traffic or trying to make dinner. An already stressful moment is simply added upon when someone comes at you with another problem.
You should never consider wanting to discuss your mental health issues with your partner as any kind of liability, but it is important that you come at things with a clear head space and that your partner has the time and an open frame of mind to listen.
2. Use words and language that they can easily understand.
Oftentimes, opposites attract, and even though you may find yourself with daily mental health struggles, your partner may be in a very different headspace most of the time. Which means that you may have to help your partner understand what it is you’re going through.
For instance, if you have been suffering from depression for a long period of time, you may want to explain that it can often feel like a struggle to get out of bed or even engage in activities that you used to enjoy.
For those with anxiety, it can be helpful to explain what those anxious moments feel like physically, like if you experience a weird sensation in your chest or feel your heartbeat and brain suddenly start to race.
If your partner can hear what some of those mental health struggles really look and feel like for you on a regular basis, it’s more likely that they’ll be able to better understand what it is you’re experiencing.
3. Let them know what they can do to possibly help.
Even though this conversation is about your mental health and what you’ve been contending with for however long, it’s a good idea to let your partner know what it is you need from them going forward to hopefully help make things a little easier for you.
If you want to start therapy or discuss medication options with your doctor, let your partner know that. Or if you’ve been feeling as though you’re the sole partner who’s been drowning under most of the child care or housework and you desperately need support in that way, this is the ideal time to let them know.
If you think that feeling more connected with your partner during stressful periods is a key factor in feeling supported, and you want to engage in more activities that will allow you to truly connect and enjoy one another, then by all means, open the door to that discussion as well.
4. If you don’t feel comfortable discussing this one on one, involve a health care practitioner for aid.
Lastly, discussions pertaining to mental health, even with those closest to us, can feel really overwhelming, especially if you’re in the middle of a very trying time. We often want our partners to see us as their equals or our best selves, and you could possibly feel at a loss for even knowing how to begin this type of discussion.
If you’re unsure where to begin, and just the thought of jumping into a conversation about your mental health struggles is causing you even more feelings of unrest, you can always consult a health care professional for help.
Simply schedule an appointment and let the health care professional know that you’ll be bringing your partner and you would love help in breaking things down for them and conducting a productive conversation regarding your mental health struggles. This is also the perfect opportunity for your partner to ask questions and gain knowledge to better understand how important it is to put one’s mental health on the same level of importance as one’s physical health.
