There's one thing that's been buzzing around the internet lately: eldest daughter syndrome. TikTok videos of women coming forward have been revealing that the eldest daughters tend to share some things in common.
In one video, Kati Morton, a licensed marriage and family therapist, broke down the eight signs of eldest daughter syndrome, gaining over 6 million views. "Eldest daughter syndrome is not an official mental health diagnosis," she began. "It's a term coined to describe the unique pressures and responsibilities placed onto the oldest daughter in the family."
The first sign of EDS she shared is having an intense feeling of responsibility. The second sign is being a Type-A overachiever and being very driven. The rest of the signs are as listed, in order: you worry a lot (hello, anxiety), you tend to struggle with people pleasing, you find it hard to set and uphold boundaries, you resent your siblings and family, you struggle with feelings of guilt, and you have a hard time in adult relationships.
Many eldest daughters flooded the comments.
"I’m the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter ," one person commented.
"I never remember being a kid," another user wrote. "Always felt responsible for both parents and younger brothers. Still parenting my parents at 47. I’m exhausted."
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Kati's support group website says that eldest daughters often act as "bonus parents," meaning they are primarily the bridge between their families and the outside world. They take on the brunt of financial and social pressures felt by the parents, while also carrying the mental and emotional labor of the household.
