I’ve been with my husband since I was 18 years old, and we were married at 27. We now have a 7-year-old boy, and truly, I couldn’t imagine my life without either of them. I don’t even know if I’m merely being just romantic about it — we’re just so intertwined I can’t physically imagine it any other way.
Have there been issues, some of which were my fault? Absolutely. And some were his. But ultimately, at the end of the day, he’s my partner in every sense of the word, and I make both conscious and subconscious decisions to choose us and our family every single day.
Joseph and Sally Littlewood have a slightly different and unconventional approach to marriage. Together for 81 years and married for 75 by the year 2014, the pair’s secret to a long and happy life together is a bit controversial.
“Argue,” Sally told The Daily Mail. “Argue lots, but always remember to get over it.”
As England’s longest-married couple on record, the duo clearly knows a thing or two about a thing or two.
“People always have arguments,” Sally continued. “In 75 years we’re going to have had a lot — but the key is to move on. It’s never worth stewing over.”
The couple met in 1933 and courted for six years before marrying in 1939. Joseph set off to fight in World War II. They reunited in 1945 and haven’t spent much time apart since. They have two children, Wyn and Terence, who recognize how rare their parents’ marriage is.
“They try really hard, but no relationship is perfect,” said Wyn. “My mum gets fed up when my dad falls asleep and she ends up throwing a shoe at him. My dad gets annoyed when my mum is impatient. These days there are benefits for single mums, but back then there weren’t—so you had no choice but to try. My parents hit the jackpot though.”
Joseph credits their long-lasting marriage to the solid foundation they built early in their dating life.
“When we were young, people just stuck together — but back then we had courtship, and that has gone by the wayside,” he told the Daily Mail. “A quick wedding wasn’t done in those days, and a long engagement gave you time to get to know each other and know if the other person was the one you wanted.”
When you tell people you’ve been together for 19 years — even at just 37 years old — people often ask what your “secret” is. I think I agree with Joseph more than Sally, truthfully.
My answer is always this: Love every version of your partner. A lot of couples break up because the other person “changes,” and to that I say: Well, duh.
People can, and should, change over time — and at each interval, you have to decide to love that person where they are and for who they are, so long as they aren’t causing active harm. There is no “right way” to love someone, but there are a ton of wrong ways. And so long as you genuinely feel safe and respected and loved, even at your lowest, it’s worth pushing through some of the more uncomfortable times.
